[Rhodes22-list] jokes

Michael Meltzer rhodes22-list@rhodes22.org
Fri, 26 Jul 2002 11:59:25 -0400


This is a multi-part message in MIME format.

------=_NextPart_000_018B_01C2349B.E310CEE0
Content-Type: text/plain;
	charset="iso-8859-1"
Content-Transfer-Encoding: quoted-printable

(Mumf note: this one is a classic!)

A young lady says to a salesman, "I need some batteries for
my vibrator."

He motions with his finger, "Come this way..."

She says, "If I could come that way I wouldn't need a
fucking vibrator."

--
So, Liberace goes to the Doctor for his physical. After the
exam the Doctor comes in and says,

"You've got six weeks to live."

Liberace asks, "How do you know this?"

The Doctor tells him, "During the exam a hamster crawled out
of your ass, saw his shadow, and went back in."

--
An Insect Falls Into A Mug of Beer

Englishman: Throws his mug away and walks out.

American: Takes the insect out and drinks the beer.

Chinese: Eats the insect and throws the beer away.

Indian: Sells the beer to the American and insect to the
Chinese and gets a new mug of beer.

Pakistani: Accuses the Indian for throwing insect into his
beer, relates the issue to Kashmir, asks the Chinese for
Military aid, takes a loan from the American to buy one more
mug of beer.

--
His beloved old white convertible was in deplorable shape,
but he refused to get rid of it. So when the old junker was
stolen from his office parking lot, his family was
delighted. Nonetheless, they called the police and filed an
insurance claim.

Their relief was short-lived, within an hour an officer was
on the phone. "We found the car less than a mile away," he
said, trying to restrain himself. "It had a note on it that
read, 'Thanks anyway, we'd rather walk.'"

-


------=_NextPart_000_018B_01C2349B.E310CEE0
Content-Type: text/html;
	charset="iso-8859-1"
Content-Transfer-Encoding: quoted-printable

<!DOCTYPE HTML PUBLIC "-//W3C//DTD HTML 4.0 Transitional//EN">
<HTML><HEAD>
<META http-equiv=3DContent-Type content=3D"text/html; =
charset=3Diso-8859-1">
<META content=3D"MSHTML 6.00.2716.2200" name=3DGENERATOR>
<STYLE></STYLE>
</HEAD>
<BODY bgColor=3D#ffffff>
<DIV><FONT face=3DArial size=3D2><FONT face=3D"Times New Roman" =
size=3D3>(Mumf note:=20
this one is a classic!)<BR><BR>A young lady says to a salesman, "I need =
some=20
batteries for<BR>my vibrator."<BR><BR>He motions with his finger, "Come =
this=20
way..."<BR><BR>She says, "If I could come that way I wouldn't need =
a<BR>fucking=20
vibrator."<BR><BR>--<BR>So, Liberace goes to the Doctor for his =
physical. After=20
the<BR>exam the Doctor comes in and says,<BR><BR>"You've got six weeks =
to=20
live."<BR><BR>Liberace asks, "How do you know this?"<BR><BR>The Doctor =
tells=20
him, "During the exam a hamster crawled out<BR>of your ass, saw his =
shadow, and=20
went back in."<BR><BR>--<BR>An Insect Falls Into A Mug of=20
Beer<BR><BR>Englishman: Throws his mug away and walks =
out.<BR><BR>American:=20
Takes the insect out and drinks the beer.<BR><BR>Chinese: Eats the =
insect and=20
throws the beer away.<BR><BR>Indian: Sells the beer to the American and =
insect=20
to the<BR>Chinese and gets a new mug of beer.<BR><BR>Pakistani: Accuses =
the=20
Indian for throwing insect into his<BR>beer, relates the issue to =
Kashmir, asks=20
the Chinese for<BR>Military aid, takes a loan from the American to buy =
one=20
more<BR>mug of beer.<BR><BR>--<BR>His beloved old white convertible was =
in=20
deplorable shape,<BR>but he refused to get rid of it. So when the old =
junker=20
was<BR>stolen from his office parking lot, his family was<BR>delighted.=20
Nonetheless, they called the police and filed an<BR>insurance=20
claim.<BR><BR>Their relief was short-lived, within an hour an officer =
was<BR>on=20
the phone. "We found the car less than a mile away," he<BR>said, trying =
to=20
restrain himself. "It had a note on it that<BR>read, 'Thanks anyway, =
we'd rather=20
walk.'"<BR><BR>-</FONT><BR></FONT></DIV></BODY></HTML>

------=_NextPart_000_018B_01C2349B.E310CEE0--