[Rhodes22-list] jokes

Mon, 29 Jul 2002 16:50:48 -0400

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(Mumf note: this first one is a classic!)

One day a guy died and found himself in hell. As he was
wallowing in despair, he had his first meeting with a demon.
The demon asked, "Why so glum?"

The guy responded, "What do you think? I'm in hell!"

"Hell's not so bad," the demon said. "We actually have a lot
of fun down here. You a drinking man?"

"Sure," the man said, "I love to drink."

"Well you're gonna love Mondays then. On Mondays all we do
is drink. Whiskey, tequila, Guinness, wine coolers, diet Tab
and Fresca. We drink till we throw up and then we drink some
more!"

The guy is astounded. "Damn, that sounds great."

"You a smoker?" the demon asked.

"You better believe it!"

"You're gonna love Tuesdays. We get the finest cigars from
all over the world and smoke our lungs out. If you get
cancer, no biggie. You're already dead, remember?"

"Wow, the guy said, "that's awesome!"

The demon continued. "I bet you like to gamble."

"Why yes, as a matter of fact I do."

"Wednesdays you can gamble all you want. Craps, blackjack,
roulette, poker, slots, whatever. If you go bankrupt, well,
you're dead anyhow. You into drugs?"

The guy said, "Are you kidding? I love drugs! You don't mean
..."

"That's right! Thursday is drug day. Help yourself to a
great big bowl of crack, or smack. Smoke a doobie the size
of a submarine. You can do all the drugs you want, you're
dead, who cares!"

"Wow," the guy said, starting to feel better about his
situation, "I never realized Hell was such a cool place!"

The demon said, "You gay?"

"No."

"Ooooh, you're gonna hate Fridays."

- submitted by Rob Brucato

--
http://games.yahoo.com/games/texttwist.html

- submitted by Sandy Fraser, who suggests using this
"...Just in case you're tired of actually getting any work
done..."

--
(Mumf note: another classic, but you do need speakers!)

http://members.shaw.ca/LeesPlace/mansong.htm

- submitted by Sue Greene

--
http://ebaumsworld.com/abc.html

- submitted by Fred Frost

--
www.people.cornell.edu/pages/slp29/insane.html

- submitted by Rob Brucato

--

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<DIV><FONT face=3DArial size=3D2><FONT face=3D"Times New Roman" =
size=3D3>(Mumf note:=20
this first one is a classic!)<BR><BR>One day a guy died and found =
himself in=20
hell. As he was<BR>wallowing in despair, he had his first meeting with a =

demon.<BR>The demon asked, "Why so glum?"<BR><BR>The guy responded, =
"What do you=20
think? I'm in hell!"<BR><BR>"Hell's not so bad," the demon said. "We =
actually=20
have a lot<BR>of fun down here. You a drinking man?"<BR><BR>"Sure," the =
man=20
said, "I love to drink."<BR><BR>"Well you're gonna love Mondays then. On =
Mondays=20
all we do<BR>is drink. Whiskey, tequila, Guinness, wine coolers, diet =
Tab<BR>and=20
Fresca. We drink till we throw up and then we drink =
some<BR>more!"<BR><BR>The=20
guy is astounded. "Damn, that sounds great."<BR><BR>"You a smoker?" the =
demon=20
asked.<BR><BR>"You better believe it!"<BR><BR>"You're gonna love =
Tuesdays. We=20
get the finest cigars from<BR>all over the world and smoke our lungs =
out. If you=20
get<BR>cancer, no biggie. You're already dead, remember?"<BR><BR>"Wow, =
the guy=20
said, "that's awesome!"<BR><BR>The demon continued. "I bet you like to=20
gamble."<BR><BR>"Why yes, as a matter of fact I do."<BR><BR>"Wednesdays =
you can=20
gamble all you want. Craps, blackjack,<BR>roulette, poker, slots, =
whatever. If=20
you go bankrupt, well,<BR>you're dead anyhow. You into =
drugs?"<BR><BR>The guy=20
said, "Are you kidding? I love drugs! You don't =
mean<BR>..."<BR><BR>"That's=20
right! Thursday is drug day. Help yourself to a<BR>great big bowl of =
crack, or=20
smack. Smoke a doobie the size<BR>of a submarine. You can do all the =
drugs you=20
want, you're<BR>dead, who cares!"<BR><BR>"Wow," the guy said, starting =
to feel=20
better about his<BR>situation, "I never realized Hell was such a cool=20
place!"<BR><BR>The demon said, "You gay?"<BR><BR>"No."<BR><BR>"Ooooh, =
you're=20
gonna hate Fridays."<BR><BR>- submitted by Rob =
Brucato<BR><BR>--<BR></FONT><A=20
href=3D"http://games.yahoo.com/games/texttwist.html"><FONT face=3D"Times =
New Roman"=20
size=3D3>http://games.yahoo.com/games/texttwist.html</FONT></A><BR><BR><F=
ONT=20
face=3D"Times New Roman" size=3D3>- submitted by Sandy Fraser, who =
suggests using=20
this<BR>"...Just in case you're tired of actually getting any=20
work<BR>done..."<BR><BR>--<BR>(Mumf note: another classic, but you do =
need=20
speakers!)<BR><BR></FONT><A=20
href=3D"http://members.shaw.ca/LeesPlace/mansong.htm"><FONT =
face=3D"Times New Roman"=20
size=3D3>http://members.shaw.ca/LeesPlace/mansong.htm</FONT></A><BR><BR><=
FONT=20
face=3D"Times New Roman" size=3D3>- submitted by Sue =
Greene<BR><BR>--<BR></FONT><A=20
href=3D"http://ebaumsworld.com/abc.html"><FONT face=3D"Times New Roman"=20
size=3D3>http://ebaumsworld.com/abc.html</FONT></A><BR><BR><FONT=20
face=3D"Times New Roman" size=3D3>- submitted by Fred =
Frost<BR><BR>--<BR></FONT><A=20
href=3D"http://www.people.cornell.edu/pages/slp29/insane.html"><FONT=20
face=3D"Times New Roman"=20
size=3D3>www.people.cornell.edu/pages/slp29/insane.html</FONT></A><BR><BR=
><FONT=20
face=3D"Times New Roman" size=3D3>- submitted by Rob=20
Brucato<BR><BR>--</FONT><BR></FONT></DIV></BODY></HTML>

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