[Rhodes22-list] jokes
Michael Meltzer
mjm@michaelmeltzer.com
Fri, 11 Oct 2002 00:10:17 -0400
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Follow up on "The Inevitable Future of Computing - Windows
XP is Just the Beginning"
What can I say? That response was overwhelming! Thousands of
letters poured in regarding the dreaded Palladium
initiative. What's really strange is that not a single
person, NOT ONE, wrote in support of Palladium. Don't you
want to be secure? Don't you want to feel safe? Don't you
want to be watched-over and protected? It'll be For The
Children; so you want Palladium, don't you?
What was clear is that everyone who wrote found freedom more
important than Big Brother implanting the ultimate spyware
into their personal computers. Next thing I'll hear is that
you won't want a Digital Angel implanted in your skull!
That's For The Children too. Arrgh.
http://www.winxpnews.com/rd/rd.cfm?id=3D020903ED-Digital_Angel
&mid=3D5957044079355987
- from Tim Corcoran
--
Look what happens when a President gets elected in a year
with a "0" at the end. Also notice it goes in increments of
20 years.
1840: William Henry Harrison (died in office)
1860: Abraham Lincoln (assassinated)
1880: James A. Garfield (assassinated)
1900: William McKinley (assassinated)
1920: Warren G. Harding (died in office)
1940: Franklin D. Roosevelt (dies in office)
1960: John F. Kennedy (assassinated)
1980: Ronald Reagan (survived assassination attempt)
2000: George W. Bush ????????????
And to think that we had two guys fighting it out in the
courts to be the one elected in 2000.
You might also be interested in this.
Have a history teacher explain this----- if they can.
Abraham Lincoln was elected to Congress in 1846.
John F. Kennedy was elected to Congress in 1946.
Abraham Lincoln was elected President in 1860.
John F. Kennedy was elected President in 1960.
Both were particularly concerned with civil rights.
Both wives lost their children while living in the White
House.
Both Presidents were shot on a Friday.
Both Presidents were shot in the head.
Now it gets really weird.
Lincoln's secretary was named Kennedy.
Kennedy's Secretary was named Lincoln.
Both were assassinated by Southerners.
Both were succeeded by Southerners named Johnson.
Andrew Johnson, who succeeded Lincoln, was born in 1808.
Lyndon Johnson, who succeeded Kennedy, was born in 1908.
John Wilkes Booth, who assassinated Lincoln, was born in
1839.
Lee Harvey Oswald, who assassinated Kennedy, was born in
1939.
Both assassins were known by their three names.
Both names are composed of fifteen letters.
Now hang on to your seat.
Lincoln was shot at the theater named 'Ford.'
Kennedy was shot in a car called 'Lincoln' made by 'Ford.'
Booth and Oswald were assassinated before their trials.
And here's the kicker.......
A week before Lincoln was shot, he was in Monroe, Maryland,
and a week before Kennedy was shot, he was with Marilyn
Monroe.
Creepy huh?
- from Fred "Dan Quayle's the Man" Frost
--
If you are so inclined, visit the Department of Defense web
page below and sign a brief message thanking the men and
women of the U.S. military services for defending our
freedom. The compiled list of names will be sent out to our
soldiers at the end of the month. National Military
Appreciation Month (please pass it on to your email friends)
http://www.defendamerica.mil/nmam.html
It takes 10 seconds...literally
- from Carol Bagshaw
--
When you think the US isn't thought well of all over the
world, read this excerpt from a Romanian Newspaper.
~An Ode to America~
Why are Americans so united? They would not resemble one
another even if you painted them all one color! They speak
all the languages of the world and form an astonishing
mixture of civilizations. Some of them are nearly extinct,
others are incompatible with one another, and in matters of
religious beliefs, not even God can count how many there
are.
Still, the American tragedy turned three hundred million
people into a hand put on the heart. Nobody rushed to accuse
the White House, the army, and the secret services that they
are only a bunch of losers. Nobody rushed to empty their
bank accounts. Nobody rushed out onto the streets nearby to
gape about. The Americans volunteered to donate blood and to
give a helping hand.
After the first moments of panic, they raised their flag
over the smoking ruins, putting on T-shirts, caps and ties
in the colors of the national flag. They placed flags on
buildings and cars as if in every place and on every car a
government official or the president was passing. On every
occasion they started singing their traditional song: "God
Bless America!"
Silent as a rock, I watched the charity concert broadcast
on Saturday once, twice, three times, on different TV
channels. There was Clint Eastwood, Willy Nelson, Robert de
Niro, Julia Roberts, Cassius Clay, Jack Nicholson, Bruce
Springstein, Sylvester Stallone, James Wood, and many others
whom no film or producers could ever bring together. The
American's spirit of solidarity turned them into a choir.
Actually, choir is not the word. What you could hear was the
heavy artillery of the American soul.
What neither George W. Bush, nor Bill Clinton, nor Colin
Powell could say without facing the risk of stumbling over
words and sounds, was being heard in a great and
unmistakable way through this charity concert.
I don't know how it happened that all this obsessive
singing of America didn't sound croaky, nationalist, or
ostentatious! It made you green with envy because you
weren't able to sing for your country without running the
risk of being considered chauvinist, ridiculous, or
suspected of who-knows-what ulterior motive.
I watched the live broadcast and rerun after rerun for
hours listening to the story of the guy who went down one
hundred floors with a woman in a wheelchair without knowing
who she was, or of the Californian hockey player, who gave
his life fighting with the terrorists and prevented the
plane from hitting a target that could have killed other
hundreds or thousands of people.
How on earth were they able to respond united as one human
being? Imperceptibly, with every word and musical note, the
memory of some turned into a modern myth of tragic heroes.
And with every phone call, millions and millions of dollars
were put in a collection aimed at rewarding not a man or a
family, but a spirit, which no money can buy.
What on earth can unite the Americans in such a way? Their
land? Their galloping history? Their economic Power? Money?
I tried for hours to find an answer, humming songs and
murmuring phrases with the risk of sounding commonplace.
I thought things over, but I reached only one conclusion.
Only freedom can work such miracles!
- from Melinda Sisk
--
This is the plane crash in Ukraine that killed 93. The last
photo is pretty graphic. Don't open if you have a weak
stomach. (plane.jpg, SU-27*.jpg, and
plane_crash_mosb116.jpg)
- from Rob Brucato
--
airlinepilotswithguns.jpg from Fred Frost
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