[Rhodes22-list] jokes

[Michael Meltzer]

PEACE

To the mind that is still,
the whole universe surrenders.

     - Lieh Tzu

--
RESTRAINT

If a thing goes without saying,
let it.

     - Jacob Braude

--
FUTURE

I never think of the future.
It comes soon enough.

     - Albert Einstein

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PROBLEMS

The mere formulation of a problem
is far more essential than its solution,
which may be merely a matter of
mathematical or experimental skills.
To raise new questions, new possibilities,
to regard old problems from a new angle
requires creative imagination
and marks real advances in science.

     - Albert Einstein

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NORMAL

The possibility of stepping
into a higher plane
is quite real for everyone.
It requires no force or effort or sacrifice.
It involves little more than changing
our ideas about what is normal.

     - Deepak Chopra

--
This is an excerpt from an article written by Jonah Goldberg
about naming the towers that will replace the World Trade
Center:

"My favorite suggestion came from one reader who said we
should rebuild the Towers with the names Freedom and Unity,
and let the terrorists figure out what the initials stand
for."

- from Sandy Fraser

--
The latest ploy to drive the Taliban and Al Queda out of the
mountains of Afghanistan is to send in a team of Alabama
Special Forces. Billy Bob, Bubba, Boo, Scooter, and Cooter
are being sent in with the following information about the
Taliban:

 1. There is no limit.
 2. The season opened last weekend.
 3. They taste just like chicken.
 4. They don't like beer, pickup trucks, country music or
Jesus.
 5. They don't like barbecue.
 6. They were responsible for Dale Earnhardt's death.

Should be over in just about a week......

- from Dave Houpert

--
http://www.markfiore.com/animation/corrections.swf

- from Sandy Fraser

--
Looking back, it's hard to believe that we have lived as
long as we have. As children we would ride in cars with no
seat belts or air bags. Riding in the back of a pickup truck
on a warm day was always a special treat.

Our baby cribs were painted with bright colored lead based
paint. We often chewed on the crib, ingesting the paint. We
had no childproof lids on medicine bottles, doors, or
cabinets, and when we rode our bikes we had no helmets. We
drank water from the garden hose and not from a bottle. We
would spend hours building our go-carts out of scraps and
then rode down the hill, only to find out we forgot the
brakes. After running into the bushes a few times we learned
to solve the problem. We would leave home in the morning and
play all day, as long as we were back when the streetlights
came on. No one was able to reach us all day. We played
dodgeball and sometimes the ball would really hurt. We ate
cupcakes, bread and butter, and drank sugar soda, but we
were never over weight; we were always outside playing.
Little League had tryouts and not everyone made the team.
Those who didn't had to learn to deal with disappointment.
Some students weren't as smart as others or didn't work hard
so they failed a grade and were held back to repeat the same
grade. That generation produced some of the greatest
risk-takers and problem solvers. We had the freedom,
failure, success and responsibility, and we learned how to
deal with it all. (Mumf query: then why did our generation
feel we had to change all of this for the next?)

- from Jay Pocius

--
http://www.alertnet.org/thenews/newsdesk/N07347915

- from Srinivas "Fuck Srini!!" Yalavarthy (Mumf note:
sometimes he is mistaken for Apu)

--
http://www.theregister.co.uk/content/2/6709.html

- from Sandy Fraser

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