[Rhodes22-list] 3 Blondes? - Joke

[Eaton, Gil]

Cinderella is now 75 years old. After a fulfilling life
with the now dead Prince, she happily sits upon her
rocking chair, watching the world go by from her front
porch, with a cat named Bob for companionship. One
sunny afternoon, out of nowhere, appeared the Fairy
Godmother.
 
Cinderella said "Fairy Godmother, what are you doing
here after all these years?"
 
The Fairy godmother replied, "Cinderella, you have lived
exemplary life since I last saw you. Is there anything for
which your heart still yearns?"
 
Cinderella was taken aback, overjoyed, and after some
thoughtful consideration, and almost under her breath
she uttered her first wish:
 
"I wish I were wealthy beyond comprehension."
Instantly, her rocking chair was turned into solid gold.
Cinderella was stunned. Bob, her old faithful cat,
jumped off her lap and scampered to the edge of
the porch, quivering with fear.
 
Cinderella said, "Oh thank you, Fairy Godmother."
 
The Fairy Godmother replied "It is the least I can do.
What does your heart want for your second wish?"
 
Cinderella looked down at her frail body, and
said: "I wish I were young and full of the beauty
of youth again."
 
At once, her wish became reality, and her beautiful
youthful visage returned. Cinderella felt stirrings
inside her that had been dormant for years. A
long-forgotten vigor and vitality began to course
through her.
 
When the Fairy Godmother again spoke "You have
one more wish, what shall you have?"
 
Cinderella looks over to the frightened cat in the
corner and says, "I wish for you to transform Bob,
my old cat, into a kind and handsome young man."
 
Magically, Bob suddenly underwent so fundamental
a change in his biological make-up that, when
complete he stood before her, a man so beautiful
the likes of which neither she nor the world had
ever seen.
 
The Fairy Godmother again spoke, "Congratulations,
Cinderella. Enjoy your new life."
 
And, with a blazing shock of bright blue electricity,
she was gone.
 
For a few eerie moments, Bob and Cinderella
looked into each others eyes. Cinderella sat,
breathless, gazing at the most stunningly
perfect man she had ever seen. Then Bob walked
over to Cinderella, who sat transfixed in her
rocking chair, and held her close in his young
muscular arms.
 
He leaned in close, blowing her golden hair with
his warm breath as he whispered:
 
........ "Bet you're sorry you neutered me now..
 
 
 
 
 
Two Blondes in Heaven
 
Two blondes are new arrivals at the pearly gates, and are comparing
stories on how they had died.
 
First Blonde, "I froze to death."
 
Second blonde, "Froze to death - how horrible!"
 
First blonde, "Well, it wasn't so bad. After I quit shaking from
the cold, I began to get warm and sleepy, and finally died a peaceful death.
What about you?"
 
Second blonde, "I died of a massive heart attack. I suspected that
my husband was cheating, so I came home early to catch him in the act.
But instead, I found him all by himself in the den, watching TV."
 
First blonde, "So what happened?"
 
Second blonde, "I was so sure there was another woman there
somewhere, that I started running all over the house looking. I ran up into
the attic and searched, and down into the basement. Then I went through
every closet and checked under every bed. I kept this up until I had looked
everywhere, and finally became so exhausted that I just keeled over with a
heart attack
and died."
 
First blonde, "Too bad you didn't look in the freezer - we'd both
still be alive."