[Rhodes22-list] jokes
Michael Meltzer
mjm@michaelmeltzer.com
Thu, 19 Sep 2002 16:07:39 -0400
This is a multi-part message in MIME format.
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ACCOMPLISHMENT
To get something done
a committee should consist
of no more than three men,
two of whom are absent.
- Robert Copeland
--
FORGIVENESS
When you forgive somebody else
you accept the responsibility
for your own future.
- Zig Ziglar
--
MEETINGS
If you had to identify, in one word,
the reason why the human race has
not achieved, and never will achieve,
its full potential,
that word would be: 'meetings.'
- Dave Barry
--
Captain Kangaroo turned 75 recently, which is odd, because
he's never looked a day under 75. (Birthday 6/27/27) It
reminded me of the following story:
Some people have been a bit offended that Lee Marvin is
buried in a grave alongside 3 and 4 star generals at
Arlington National Cemetery. He died 8/29/87. His marker
gives his name, rank (PVT) and service (USMC). Nothing else.
Here's a guy who was only a famous movie star who served his
time, why the heck does he rate burial with these guys?
Well, following is the amazing answer:
I always liked Lee Marvin, but did not know the extent of
his Corps experiences. In a time when many Hollywood stars
served their country in the armed forces, often in
rear-echelon posts where they were carefully protected, only
to be trotted out to perform for the cameras in war bond
promotions, Lee Marvin was a genuine hero. He won the Navy
Cross at Iwo Jima. There is only one higher Naval award...
the Medal of Honor. If that is a surprising comment on the
true character of the man, he credits his sergeant with an
even greater show of bravery.
Dialog From The Tonight Show with Johnny Carson: His guest
was Lee Marvin.
Johnny said, "Lee, I'll bet a lot of people are unaware that
you were a Marine in the initial landing at Iwo Jima... and
that during the course of that action you earned the Navy
Cross and were severely wounded."
"Yeah, yeah... I got shot square in the ass and they gave me
the Cross for securing a hot spot about halfway up
Suribachi... bad thing about getting shot up on a mountain
is guys gettin' shot hauling you down. But Johnny, at Iwo I
served under the bravest man I ever knew... We both got the
Cross the same day, but what he did for his Cross made mine
look cheap in comparison.
The dumb bastard actually stood up on Red beach and directed
his troops to move forward and get the hell off the beach.
That Sergeant and I have been lifelong friends. When they
brought me off Suribachi we passed the Sergeant and he lit a
smoke and passed it to me lying on my belly on the litter
and said, 'Where'd they get you Lee?' Well Bob... if you
make it home before me, tell Mom to sell the outhouse!
"Johnny, I'm not lying... Sergeant Keeshan was the bravest
man I ever knew... Bob Keeshan... You and the world know him
as Captain Kangaroo."
- submitted by Ron Nichols
--
http://www.incredimail.com/redir.asp?ad_id=3D309&lang=3D9
- submitted by Gary Savage
--
A frail old man went to live with his son, daughter-in-law,
and four-year old grandson. The old man's hands trembled,
his eyesight was blurred, and his step faltered.
The family ate together at the table. But the elderly
grandfather's shaky hands and failing sight made eating
difficult. Peas rolled off his spoon onto the floor. When he
grasped the glass, milk spilled on the tablecloth.
The son and daughter-in-law became irritated with the mess.
"We must do something about Grandfather," said the son. I've
had enough of his spilled milk, noisy eating, and food on
the floor. So the husband and wife set a small table in the
corner. There, Grandfather ate alone while the rest of the
family enjoyed dinner. Since Grandfather had broken a dish
or two, his food was served in a wooden bowl.
When the family glanced in Grandfather's direction,
sometimes he had a tear in his eye as he sat alone. Still,
the only words the couple had for him were sharp admonitions
when he dropped a fork or spilled food.
The four-year-old watched it all in silence. One evening
before supper, the father noticed his son playing with wood
scraps on the floor. He asked the child sweetly, "What are
you making?"
Just as sweetly, the boy responded, "Oh, I am making a
little bowl for you and Mama to eat your food when I grow
up." The four-year-old smiled and went back to work.
- submitted by Fred Frost
--
National Military Appreciation Month
This is a link the DoD has set up for National Military
Appreciation Month. It is a "thank you" note you can "sign"
to support the armed forces and will be sent to them. Please
check it out if you have the time.
http://www.defendamerica.mil/nmam.html
- submitted by Kevin Haggerty
--
---------------------- multipart/alternative attachment
ACCOMPLISHMENT
To get something done
a committee should=20 consist
of no more than three men,
two of whom are=20 absent.
- Robert=20 Copeland
--
FORGIVENESS
When you forgive somebody = else
you=20 accept the responsibility
for your own=20 future.
- Zig=20 Ziglar
--
MEETINGS
If you had to identify, in one = word,
the=20 reason why the human race has
not achieved, and never will = achieve,
its=20 full potential,
that word would be:=20 'meetings.'
- Dave=20 Barry
--
Captain Kangaroo turned 75 recently, which is = odd,=20 because
he's never looked a day under 75. (Birthday 6/27/27) = It
reminded=20 me of the following story:
Some people have been a bit offended = that Lee=20 Marvin is
buried in a grave alongside 3 and 4 star generals = at
Arlington=20 National Cemetery. He died 8/29/87. His marker
gives his name, rank = (PVT) and=20 service (USMC). Nothing else.
Here's a guy who was only a famous = movie star=20 who served his
time, why the heck does he rate burial with these=20 guys?
Well, following is the amazing answer:
I always = liked Lee=20 Marvin, but did not know the extent of
his Corps experiences. In a = time when=20 many Hollywood stars
served their country in the armed forces, often=20 in
rear-echelon posts where they were carefully protected, only
to = be=20 trotted out to perform for the cameras in war bond
promotions, Lee = Marvin was=20 a genuine hero. He won the Navy
Cross at Iwo Jima. There is only one = higher=20 Naval award...
the Medal of Honor. If that is a surprising comment on = the
true character of the man, he credits his sergeant with = an
even=20 greater show of bravery.
Dialog From The Tonight Show with Johnny = Carson:=20 His guest
was Lee Marvin.
Johnny said, "Lee, I'll bet a lot of = people=20 are unaware that
you were a Marine in the initial landing at Iwo = Jima...=20 and
that during the course of that action you earned the = Navy
Cross and=20 were severely wounded."
"Yeah, yeah... I got shot square in the = ass and=20 they gave me
the Cross for securing a hot spot about halfway=20 up
Suribachi... bad thing about getting shot up on a mountain
is = guys=20 gettin' shot hauling you down. But Johnny, at Iwo I
served under the = bravest=20 man I ever knew... We both got the
Cross the same day, but what he = did for=20 his Cross made mine
look cheap in comparison.
The dumb bastard = actually stood up on Red beach and directed
his troops to move = forward and=20 get the hell off the beach.
That Sergeant and I have been lifelong = friends.=20 When they
brought me off Suribachi we passed the Sergeant and he lit=20 a
smoke and passed it to me lying on my belly on the litter
and = said,=20 'Where'd they get you Lee?' Well Bob... if you
make it home before = me, tell=20 Mom to sell the outhouse!
"Johnny, I'm not lying... Sergeant = Keeshan was=20 the bravest
man I ever knew... Bob Keeshan... You and the world know=20 him
as Captain Kangaroo."
- submitted by Ron = Nichols
--
[1]ht= tp://www.incredimail.com/redir.asp?ad_id=3D309&lang=3D9
- = submitted by Gary Savage
--
A frail old man went to live with = his son,=20 daughter-in-law,
and four-year old grandson. The old man's hands=20 trembled,
his eyesight was blurred, and his step faltered.
The = family=20 ate together at the table. But the elderly
grandfather's shaky hands = and=20 failing sight made eating
difficult. Peas rolled off his spoon onto = the=20 floor. When he
grasped the glass, milk spilled on the = tablecloth.
The=20 son and daughter-in-law became irritated with the mess.
"We must do = something=20 about Grandfather," said the son. I've
had enough of his spilled = milk, noisy=20 eating, and food on
the floor. So the husband and wife set a small = table in=20 the
corner. There, Grandfather ate alone while the rest of = the
family=20 enjoyed dinner. Since Grandfather had broken a dish
or two, his food = was=20 served in a wooden bowl.
When the family glanced in Grandfather's = direction,
sometimes he had a tear in his eye as he sat alone. = Still,
the=20 only words the couple had for him were sharp admonitions
when he = dropped a=20 fork or spilled food.
The four-year-old watched it all in = silence. One=20 evening
before supper, the father noticed his son playing with = wood
scraps=20 on the floor. He asked the child sweetly, "What are
you = making?"
Just=20 as sweetly, the boy responded, "Oh, I am making a
little bowl for you = and=20 Mama to eat your food when I grow
up." The four-year-old smiled and = went back=20 to work.
- submitted by Fred Frost
--
National Military = Appreciation Month
This is a link the DoD has set up for National = Military
Appreciation Month. It is a "thank you" note you can = "sign"
to=20 support the armed forces and will be sent to them. Please
check it = out if you=20 have the time.
[2]http://www.defendamerica.= mil/nmam.html
-=20 submitted by Kevin Haggerty
--
References
1. 3D"http://www.incredimail.com/redir.asp?ad_id=3D309&lang=3D9"
2. 3D"http://www.defendamerica.mil/nmam.html"
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