[Rhodes22-list] Jokes

[John Tonjes]

   John Tonjes
   [1]johntonjes@earthlink.net
   Why Wait? Move to EarthLink.





     47 YEAR OLD LADY
     But how old do you think I am?
     "About 32," was the reply.
     "I'm exactly 47," the woman says happily.
     A little while later she goes into McDonald's and asks the counter
     girl the very same question.
     She replies, "I guess about 29."
     The woman replies, "Nope, I'm 47."
     Now she's feeling really good about herself.
     She stops in a drug store on her way down the street.
     She goes up to the counter to get some mints and asks the clerk
     this burning question.
     The clerk responds, "Oh, I'd say 30."
     Again she proudly responds, "I am 47, but thank you."
     While waiting for the bus to go home, she asks an old man the same
     question.
     He replies, "Lady, I'm 78 and my eyesight is going. Although, when
     I was young, there was a sure way to tell how old a woman was
     sounds very forward, but it requires you to let me put my hands up
     and under your bra. Then I can tell you exactly how old you are."
     They waited in silence on the empty street until curiosity got the
     best of her.
     She finally blurts out, "What the hell. Go ahead."
     He slips both of his hands under her blouse and under her bra and
     begins to feel around very slowly and carefully.
     After a couple of minutes of this, she said, "Okay, how old am I?"
     He completes one last caress of her breasts and removes his hands
     and says, "Madam, you are 47." Stunned and amazed, the woman says,
     "That was incredible! How did you know?"
     The old man replies, "I was behind you in line at McDonald's."
     Let's Hear It for the (Elderly) Marines!!!
     A crusty old Marine Corps colonel found himself at a gala event
     hosted by a local liberal arts college. There was no shortage of
     extremely young, idealistic women in attendance, one of whom
     approached the colonel for conversation.
     "Excuse me, sir, but you seem to be such a serious man. Are you
     always this way, or is something bothering you?"
     "Nope, just serious by nature," he replied.
     She looked at his medals. "It looks like you've seen a lot of
     action."
     "Yes, I have," was the colonel's short reply.
     The woman, tiring of trying to start up a conversation, said, "You
     know you should really chill out and quit taking everything so
     seriously. Have some fun! For example, when was the last time you
     had sex?"
     The colonel answered, "1955."
     "Oh my," she gasped, "No sex since 1955. Isn't that a little
     extreme?"
     Glancing at his watch, the colonel said, "Oh, I don't know; it's
     only 2130 now."

References

   1. mailto:johntonjes@earthlink.net