[Rhodes22-list] jokes

[Michael Meltzer]

"Turkey has voted not to allow U.S. troops into their
country, and Saddam Hussein replied 'You can  do that?'"
 -Jay Leno

"A lot of students around the country protested the war
today. The National Youth and Student Peace Coalition
sponsored an anti-war organization called 'Books Not Bombs.'
President Bush's response: 'Why do you want to drop books on
them?'"
 -Jay Leno

"President Bush announced tonight that he believes in
democracy and that democracy can exist in Iraq. They can
have a strong economy, they can have a good health care
plan, and they can have free and fair voting. Iraq? We can't
even get this in Florida."
 -Jay Leno

"President Bush has said that he does not need approval from
the UN to wage war, and I'm thinking, well, hell, he didn't
need the approval of the American voters to become
president, either."
 -David Letterman

"According to the Associated Press, there's a rumor that
Saddam Hussein is now hiding weapons in schools. When asked
why, Saddam said, Because a school is the last place
President Bush will look."
 -Conan O'Brien

"In a speech earlier today President Bush said if Iraq gets
rid of Saddam Hussein, he will help the Iraqi people with
food, medicine, supplies, housing, education - anything
that's needed. Isn't that amazing? He finally comes up with
a domestic agenda - and it's for Iraq. Maybe we could bring
that here if it works out."
 -Jay Leno

"I read today that the president was interrupted 73 times by
applause and 75 times by really big words."
 -Jay Leno

"I'm glad you all recovered from the president's press
conference last night. Did you see that press conference? I
don't want to say there's nothing new there, but at one
point the closed captioning actually said 'blah, blah, blah,
blah, blah.' ...The president was so subdued and there were
so many long pauses, the Washington Post suggested today
that he may have been on drugs. Apparently we are seeing the
side effects of a powerful codeine-based smirk inhibitor."
 -Bill Maher, HBO's Real Time with Bill Maher

"It was reported that two of Osama bin Laden's sons were
apprehended in Afghanistan, but President Bush is not
gloating, he said he knows how embarrassing it is when your
kids get arrested."
 -Bill Maher

and, finally,...............

"The president boasted at the top of his press conference
that we have the support now of Britain and Spain for our
attack on Iraq. You know, when you want to make it perfectly
clear to the world that you're not an imperialist, the
people you want in your corner are Britain and Spain."
-from  Bill Maher,  on  HBO's Real Time With Bill Maher

- from Srini "I Love Hockey" Yalavarthy

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