[Rhodes22-list] jokes

[Michael Meltzer]

Two men, both seriously ill, occupied the same hospital
room. One man was allowed to sit up in his bed for an hour
each afternoon to help drain the fluid from his lungs. His
bed was next to the room's only window. The other man had
to spend all his time flat on his back. The men talked for
hours on end. They spoke of their wives and families,
their homes, their jobs, their involvement in the military
service, where they had been on vacation.

Every afternoon when the man in the bed by the window
could sit up, he would pass the time by describing to his
roommate all the things he could see outside the window.

The man in the other bed began to live for those one-hour
periods where his world would be broadened and enlivened
by all the activity and color of the world outside. The
window overlooked a park with a lovely lake. Ducks and
swans played on the water while children sailed their
model boats. Young lovers walked arm in arm amidst flowers
of every color and a fine view of the city skyline could
be seen in the distance.

As the man by the window described all this in exquisite
detail, the man on the other side of the room would close
his eyes and imagine the picturesque scene.

One warm afternoon the man by the window described a
parade passing by. Although the other man couldn't hear
the band - he could see it. In his mind's eye as the
gentleman by the window portrayed it with descriptive
words.

Days and weeks passed. One morning, the day nurse arrived
to bring water for their baths only to find the lifeless
body of the man by the window, who had died peacefully in
his sleep. She was saddened and called the hospital
attendants to take the body away.

As soon as it seemed appropriate, the other man asked if
he could be moved next to the window. The nurse was happy
to make the switch, and after making sure he was
comfortable, she left him alone.

Slowly, painfully, he propped himself up on one elbow to
take his first look at the real world outside. He strained
to slowly turn to look out the window beside the bed. It
faced a blank wall.

The man asked the nurse what could have compelled his
deceased roommate who had described such wonderful things
outside this window. The nurse responded that the man was
blind and could not even see the wall. She said, "Perhaps
he just wanted to encourage you."

Epilogue: There is tremendous happiness in making others
happy, despite our own situations. Shared grief is half
the sorrow, but happiness when shared, is doubled.

If you want to feel rich, just count all the things you
have that money can't buy. Today is a gift, that's why it
is called the present."

People will forget what you said... People will forget
what you did... But people will never forget how you made
them feel... Remember, life isn't measured by the number
of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our
breath away.

- from Jay Pocius

--
One day a farmer's donkey fell down into a well. The
animal cried piteously for hours as the farmer tried to
figure out what to do.

Finally he decided the animal was old, and the well needed
to be covered up anyway, it just wasn't worth it to
retrieve the donkey. He invited all his neighbors to come
over and help him. They each grabbed a shovel and began to
shovel dirt into the well. At first, the donkey realized
what was happening and cried horribly. Then, to everyone's
amazement, he quieted down.

A few shovel loads later, the farmer looked down the well,
and was astonished at what he saw. As every shovel of dirt
hit his back, the donkey did something amazing. He would
shake it off and take a step up. As the farmer's neighbors
continued to shovel dirt on top of the animal, he would
shake it off and take a step up. Pretty soon, everyone was
amazed, as the donkey stepped up over the edge of the well
and trotted off.

The Moral:

Life is going to shovel dirt on you, all kinds of dirt.
The trick to getting out of the well is to shake it off
and take a step up. Each of our troubles a stepping stone.
We can get out of the deepest wells just by not stopping,
never giving up! Shake it off and take a step up!

Remember the five simple rules to be happy:
 1. Free your heart from hatred.
 2. Free your mind from worries.
 3. Live simply.
 4. Give more.
 5. Expect less.

O.K., that's enough of that B.S. ... The donkey later came
back, caught the farmer out in the field and kicked the
crap out of him. Then he went over to each of his
neighbors farms and kicked the crap out of them too for
helping.

The REAL Moral:

When you try to cover your ass, it always comes back to
get you.

- from Jay Pocius