[Rhodes22-list] Joke - Headlines - US To Give Iraq Russian Goods, Attempt To Poison Europeans

[brad haslett]

March 25, 2003
U.S. Offers Iraq Russian-Made Equipment 
(2003-03-25) -- The United States, in a goodwill
gesture, has offered to outfit the Iraqi Republican
Guard with all new Russian-made high-tech equipment.

"Russia's track-record for excellence in high-tech
manufacturing is legendary," said an unnamed Pentagon
spokesman. "That's why you can hardly walk into an
electronics store anywhere in the world without seeing
shelves bulging with Russian-made electronic devices."

Russian President Vladimir Putin denied the existence
of any deal to provide such equipment to the Iraqis.

"We categorically reject the accusation that Russian
factories produce high-quality electronics," he said.
March 25, 2003



Europeans Act to Stop U.S. Chemical Plot 
(2003-03-25) -- A boycott on products associated with
America threatens to foil a decades-old secret U.S.
plot to poison Europeans with chemical agents.

The deadly chemicals can cause a range of diseases
from lung cancer and heart disease to diabetes. They
work slowly and enter the body through voluntary
consumption by the victims.

However, now that some Europeans are boycotting
American businesses and products like Marlboro,
McDonald's, Budweiser and Coca-Cola, a CIA spokesman
said "new plans must be formulated to neutralize the
power of the mighty French, Germans and Belgians."



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