[Rhodes22-list] Joke - here's why you need to worry about retirement!

[Eaton, Gil]

The following questions and answers were collected from last year's GCSE
exams.
 These are genuine responses of students (16 year olds) from the Gorton area
of Manchester England.       



Geography :- 

Q: Name the four seasons? 

A: Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar. 



Q: Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink? 

A: Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large pollutants 

like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists. 



Q: How is dew formed? 

A: The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire. 



Q: What is a planet? 

A: A body of earth surrounded by sky. 



Q: What causes the tides in the oceans? 

A: The tides are a fight between the Earth and the Moon. All water tends to 

flow towards the moon, because there is no water on the moon, and nature 

abhors a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins in this fight. 



Sociology :- 

Q: What guarantees may a mortgage company insist on? 

A: If you are buying a house, they will insist you are well endowed. 



Q: In a democratic society, how important are elections? 

A: Very important. Sex can only happen when a male gets an election. 



Q: What are steroids? 

A: Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs. 



Biology :- 

Q: What happens to your body as you age? 

A: When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental. 



Q: What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty? 

A: He says goodbye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery. 



Q; Name a major disease associated with cigarettes? 

A: Premature death. 



Q: What is artificial insemination? 

A: When the farmer does it to the bull instead of the cow. 



Q: How can you delay milk turning sour? 

A: Keep it in the cow. [He got an A] 



Q: How are the main parts of the body categorised? (e.g. abdomen.) 

A: The body is consisted into three parts - the brainium, the borax, the 

abdominal cavity. The branium contains the brain, The borax contains the 

heart and lungs. The abdominal cavity contains the five bowels,A, E, I, O 

and U. 



Q: What is the Fibula? 

A: A small lie. 



Q: What does "varicose" mean? 

A: Nearby. 



Q: What is the most common form of birth control? 

A: Most people prevent contraception by wearing a condominium. 



Q: Give the meaning of the term "Caesarean Section"? 

A: The caesarean section is a district in Rome. 



Q: What is a seizure? 

A: A Roman emperor. 



Q: What is a terminal illness? 

A: When you are sick at the airport 



Q: Give an example of a fungus. What is a characteristic feature? 

A: Mushrooms. They always grow in damp places and they look like umbrellas. 



English :- 

Q: Use the word "judicious" in a sentence to show you understand its 

meaning? 

A: Hands that judicious can be soft as your face. 


Q: What does the word "benign" mean? 

A: Benign is what you will be after you be eight. 



Technology:- 

Q: What is a turbine? 

A: Something an Arab or Sikh wears on his head