[Rhodes22-list] jokes

[Michael Meltzer]

Mumf note: ladies, it's all about you -- we just tolerate if for your well
being!)

(AP) -- Women who perform the act of fellatio and swallow semen on a regular
basis, one to two times a week, may reduce their risk of breast cancer by up
to 40 percent, a North Carolina State University study found.

Doctors had never suspected a link between the act of fellatio and breast
cancer, but new research being performed at North Carolina State University
is starting to suggest that there could be an important link between the
two.

In a study of over 15,000 women suspected of having performed regular
fellatio and swallowed the ejaculatory fluid, over the past ten years, the
researchers found that those actually having performed the act regularly,
one to two times a week, had a lower occurrence of breast cancer than those
who had not. There was no increased risk, however, for those who did not
regularly perform.

"I think it removes the last shade of doubt that fellatio is actually a
healthy act," said Dr. A.J. Kramer of Johns Hopkins School of Medicine, who
was not involved in the research. "I am surprised by these findings, but am
also excited that the researchers may have discovered a relatively easy way
to lower the occurrence of breast cancer in women."

The University researchers stressed that, though breast cancer is relatively
uncommon, any steps taken to reduce the risk would be a wise decision.

"Only with regular occurrence will your chances be reduced, so I encourage
all women out there to make fellatio an important part of their daily
routine," said Dr. Helena Shifteer, one of the researchers at the
University. "Since the emergence of the research, I try to fellate at least
once every other night to reduce my chances."

The study is reported in Friday's Journal of Medical Research.

In 1991, 43,582 women died of breast cancer, as reported by the National
Cancer Institute.

Dr. Len Lictepeen, deputy chief medical officer for the American Cancer
Society, said women should not overlook or "play down" these findings.

"This will hopefully change women's practice and patterns, resulting in a
severe drop in the future number of cases," Lictepeen said.

Sooner said the research shows no increase in the risk of breast cancer in
those who are, for whatever reason, not able to fellate regularly.

"There's definitely fertile ground for more research. Many have stepped
forward to volunteer for related research now in the planning stages," he
said.

Almost every woman is, at some point, going to perform the act of fellatio,
but it is the frequency at which this event occurs that makes the
difference, say researchers. Also key seems to be the protein and enzyme
count in the semen, but researchers are again waiting for more test data.

The research consisted of two groups, 6,246 women ages 25 to 45 who had
performed fellatio and swallowed on a regular basis over the past five to
ten years, and 9,728 women who had not or did not swallow. The group of
women who had performed and swallowed had a breast cancer rate of 1.9
percent and the group who had not had a breast cancer rate of 10.4 percent.

"The findings do suggest that there are other causes for breast cancer
besides the absence of regular fellatio," Shafteer said. "It's a cause, not
THE cause."


http://digicc.com/fido/

 - from Jimi Pocius

--
A little history never hurt anyone.

STORY NUMBER ONE Many years ago, Al Capone virtually owned Chicago. Capone
wasn't famous for anything heroic. He was notorious for enmeshing the windy
city in everything from bootlegged booze and prostitution to murder. Capone
had a lawyer nicknamed "Easy Eddie." He was his lawyer for a good reason.
Eddie was very good!

In fact, Eddie's skill at legal maneuvering kept Big Al out of jail for a
long time. To show his appreciation, Capone paid him very well. Not only was
the money big, but Eddie got special dividends. For instance, he and his
family occupied a fenced-in mansion with live-in help and all of the
conveniences of the day. The estate was so large that it filled an entire
Chicago City block. Eddie lived the high life of the Chicago mob and gave
little consideration to the atrocity that went on around him.

Eddie did have one soft spot, however. He had a son that he loved dearly.
Eddie saw to it that his young son had the best of everything: clothes, cars
and a good education. Nothing was withheld. Price was no object. And,
despite his involvement with organized crime, Eddie even tried to teach him
right from wrong. Eddie wanted his son to be a better man than he was. Yet,
with all his wealth and influence, there were two things he couldn't give
his son; that he couldn't pass on a good name and a good example.

One day, Easy Eddie reached a difficult decision. Easy Eddie wanted to
rectify wrongs he had done. He decided he would go to the authorities and
tell the truth about Al "Scarface" Capone, clean up his tarnished name and
offer his son some semblance of integrity. To do this, he would have to
testify against The Mob, and he knew that the cost would be great. So, he
testified. Within the year, Easy Eddie's life ended in a blaze of gunfire in
a lonely Chicago Street. But in his eyes, he had given his son the greatest
gift he had to offer, at the greatest price he would ever pay.

STORY NUMBER TWO World War II produced many heroes. One such man was
Lieutenant Commander Butch O'Hare. He was a fighter pilot assigned to the
aircraft carrier Lexington in the South Pacific. One day his entire squadron
was sent on a mission. After he was airborne, he looked at his fuel gauge
and realized that someone had forgotten to top off his fuel tank. He would
not have enough fuel to complete his mission and get back to his ship.

His flight leader told him to return to the carrier. Reluctantly, he dropped
out of formation and headed back to the fleet. As he was returning to the
mother ship he saw something that turned his blood cold. A squadron of
Japanese aircraft were speeding their way toward the American fleet. The
American fighters were gone on a sortie, and the fleet was all but
defenseless. He couldn't reach his squadron and bring them back in time to
save the fleet. Nor could he warn the fleet of the approaching danger. There
was only one thing to do. He must somehow divert them from the fleet.

Laying aside all thoughts of personal safety, he dove into the formation of
Japanese planes. Wing-mounted 50 caliber's blazed as he charged in,
attacking one surprised enemy plane and then another. Butch wove in and out
of the now broken formation and fired at as many planes as possible until
all his ammunition was finally spent. Undaunted, he continued the assault.
He dove at the planes, trying to clip a wing or tail in hopes of damaging as
many enemy planes as possible and rendering them unfit to fly.

Finally, the exasperated Japanese squadron took off in another direction.
Deeply relieved, Butch O'Hare and his tattered fighter limped back to the
carrier. Upon arrival he reported in and related the event surrounding his
return.

The film from the gun-camera mounted on his plane told the tale. It showed
the extent of Butch's daring attempt to protect his fleet. He had in fact
destroyed five enemy aircraft.

This took place on February 20, 1942, and for that action Butch became the
Navy's first Ace of W.W.II, and the first Naval Aviator to win the
Congressional Medal of Honor. A year later Butch was killed in aerial combat
at the age of 29. His home town would not allow the memory of this WW II
hero to fade, and today, O'Hare Airport in Chicago is named in tribute to
the courage of this great man. So the next time you find yourself at O'Hare
International, give some thought to visiting Butch's memorial displaying his
statue and his Medal of Honor. It's located between Terminals 1 and 2.

SO WHAT DO THESE TWO STORIES HAVE TO DO WITH EACH OTHER?

Butch O'Hare was Easy Eddie's son.

 - from Sue Greene

--
http://y.20q.net:8095/btest

 - from Brad "I Can't Believe I'm Submitting Something!" Whitley

--
(Mumf note: thank God I'm married -- I could not pass this to save my life!)

http://www.zipperfish.com/free/quiz/likejailbait.html

 - from Kevin Haggerty