[Rhodes22-list] please do not read these jokes

[Michael Meltzer]

The "good idea" one is really funny but you gotta read the comment below the
video. Stealth is also funny - the videos are good but what's funny are the
comments - the guy's got a great sense of humor! (Which we all know, you
gotta have if you have a cat!)

http://www.zefrank.com/annie/navigation.html

 - from Sandy Fraser

--
Inmate Pleads Guilty to Watch TV

Associated Press
COLUMBUS, Ohio -- A Columbus judge says he'll let an inmate stay in jail
instead of moving him to prison right away so he can see the Ohio
State-Michigan game on TV this Saturday.

Jeff Renne told Franklin County Common Pleas Judge Richard Sheward yesterday
that he would plead guilty as long as he could stay in the county jail
through the weekend. Inmates at the jail can watch TV, but it's off-limits
at the Orient reception center, where they are held before they're moved to
one of the state's prisons.

Renne was charged with forgery. He says if the Buckeyes win on Saturday,
he'll still be "on cloud nine" despite being in prison.

Judge Sheward says he granted Renne's request because it's Michigan week and
he thought he should do his part for the Buckeyes.

 - from Chuck Mumford

--
Most people don't think twice when they hear another person's cell phone
ring. Unless maybe it's during a movie. Or church. Or if the cellular shriek
comes from inside a closed coffin. The latter instance actually happened in
Belgium. The deceased got a call -- evidently from someone who hadn't gotten
the bad news -- while his surviving loved ones were gathered around the
casket.

--
 1. Suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress.
But I repeat myself.
 --Mark Twain

 2. We contend that for a nation to try to tax itself into prosperity is
like a man standing in a bucket and trying to lift himself up by the handle.
 --Winston Churchill

 3. A government which robs Peter to pay Paul can always depend on the
support of Paul.
 --George Bernard Shaw

 4. A liberal is someone who feels a great debt to his fellow man, which
debt he proposes to pay off with your money.
 -- G. Gordon Liddy

 5. Democracy must be something more than two wolves and a sheep voting on
what to have for dinner.
 --James Bovard, Civil Libertarian (1994)

 6. Foreign aid might be defined as a transfer from poor people in rich
countries to rich people in poor countries.
 --Douglas Casey, Classmate of W. J. Clinton at Georgetown U. (1992)

 7. Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys
to teenage boys.
 --P.J. O'Rourke, Civil Libertarian

 8. Government is the great fiction, through which everybody endeavors to
live at the expense of everybody else.
 --Frederic Bastiat, French Economist (1801-1850)

 9. Government's view of the economy could be summed up in a few short
phrases: If it moves, tax it. If it keeps moving, regulate it. And if it
stops moving, subsidize it.
 -- Ronald Reagan (1986)

10. I don't make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts.
 --Will Rogers

11. If you think health care is expensive now, wait until you see what it
costs when it's free.
 --P.J. O'Rourke

12. If you want government to intervene domestically, you're a liberal. If
you want government to intervene overseas, you're a conservative. If you
want government to intervene everywhere, you're a moderate. If you don't
want government to intervene anywhere, you're an extremist.
 --Joseph Sobran, Editor of the National Review at one time (1995)

13. In general, the art of government consists in taking as much money as
possible from one party of the citizens to give to the other.
 --Voltaire (1764)

14. Just because you do not take an interest in politics doesn't mean
politics won't take an interest in you.
 --Pericles (430 B.C.)

15. No man's life, liberty, or property is safe while the legislature is in
session.
 --Mark Twain (1866)

16. Talk is cheap-except when Congress does it.
 --(Unknown)

17. The government is like a baby's alimentary canal, with a happy appetite
at one end and no responsibility at the other.
 --Ronald Reagan

18. The inherent vice of capitalism is the unequal sharing of the blessings.
The inherent blessing of socialism is the equal sharing of misery.
 --Winston Churchill

19. The only difference between a tax man and a taxidermist is that the
taxidermist leaves the skin.
 --Mark Twain

20. The ultimate result of shielding men from the effects of folly is to
fill the world with fools.
 --Herbert Spencer, English Philosopher (1820-1903)

21. There is no distinctly native American criminal class-save Congress.
 --Mark Twain

22. What this country needs are more unemployed politicians.
 -- Edward Langley, Artist 1928-1995

 - from Jimi Pocius

--