[Rhodes22-list] every keyboard user should read this(joke)

[Michael Meltzer]

File this story under "Eww!!"

And quick, go get some hand sanitizer from that neatnik in the next
cubicle -- he's onto something.

According to ElectricNews.net, a microbiologist at the University of Arizona
put computer workstations under the microscope. What he found was a
bacterial bash that would make Kid Rock want to close his tab and call it a
night.

The man with the microscope found that the average computer workstation not
only has more germs than the average toilet seat, it has a lot more germs
than the average toilet seat -- about 400 times more. No "buts" about it.
Makes you want to douse your desk in Clorox, doesn't it?

It all makes sense if you think about it. Toilets don't get the, ahem,
"traffic" that a work area does. The researcher said that desktops often
double as food areas and are not cleaned regularly, ergo the microscopic
Mardi Gras. Still, even if the stall is sterile compared to the desk, do you
really want to eat your Lean Cuisine in there?

PC prisoners take heart -- the computer isn't the most squalid spot in the
cubicle. The most germs are on the phone, according to the study, followed
by the desk surface, keyboard and mouse.

So next time you take a bathroom break, tell your co-workers you're escaping
to a sanitary place. And maybe ask the cleaning crew to mix things up a
little bit and use Lysol in the office and the duster in the restroom.

--
How many times have you grasped for an excuse to get out of something? Maybe
you've "little white lied" to your mother-in-law about another call or told
your boss that you're getting an emergency root canal and can't make the
meeting. A firm in Germany can give your mendacity some veracity thanks to
its "sound alibi generator." You can download nine sounds from the generator
to your cell phone, including a traffic jam, roadwork, a circus parade, a
dentist's drill and the ring of another phone. Call the boss, tell the fib,
play the sound and voila -- your weekend just got longer.

--
Remember when living off the Net and never leaving the house were considered
weird? Back in 2000, a guy legally changed his name to "DotComGuy," turned
his Dallas home into a hermitage, and lived off the Internet. We haven't
heard much from him since his one-year exile -- until now. Years after the
dot-com bubble burst, the DotComGuy is changing his name back to Mitch
Maddox and is offering up the DotComGuy.com domain. Why did he let go of the
name that gave him 15 minutes of fame? Two words: Mrs. DotComGuy,

--
LONDON (AP) - At the end of the day, it's the most irritating cliché in the
English language. So says the Plain English Campaign which said the abused
and overused phrase was first in a poll of most annoying clichés.

Second place went to "at this moment in time," and third to the constant use
of "like," as if it were a form of punctuation. "With all due respect" came
fourth.

"When readers or listeners come across these tired expressions, they start
tuning out and completely miss the message - assuming there is one," said
Plain English Campaign spokesman John Lister.

"Using these terms in daily business is about as professional as wearing a
novelty tie or having a wacky ring-tone on your phone."

Lister said people should follow the 1946 advice of writer George Orwell:
"Never use a metaphor, simile, or other figure of speech which you are used
to seeing in print."

The Plain English Campaign, which offers annual awards for good use of the
language, surveyed its 5,000 supporters in more than 70 countries for the
poll.

Other terms that received multiple nominations included:
 - 24/7
 - absolutely
 - address the issue
 - around (in place of about)
 - awesome
 - ballpark figure
 - basically
 - basis ("on a weekly basis" in place of "weekly" and so on)
 - bear with me
 - between a rock and a hard place
 - bottom line
 = crack troops
 - glass half full (or half empty)
 - I hear what you're saying
 - in terms of
 - it's not rocket science
 - literally
 - move the goal-posts
 - ongoing
 - prioritize
 - pushing the envelope
 - singing from the same hymn sheet
 - the fact of the matter is
 - thinking outside the box
 - to be honest/to be honest with you/to be perfectly honest
 - touch base.

Formed in 1979, the Plain English Campaign is an independent group that
campaigns against clichés, jargon and obfuscation, particularly in official
and public documents.

 - from Sean "vis a vis" Casler

--
If you're looking for love in all the wrong places, bar yourself from
singles bars and put down the personals. A new service will soon shoot
Cupid's arrow straight through your cell phone. (And they promise it won't
hurt your ear.) Here's the 411: The lonely hearted will store their stats in
their mobile phones, along with info about what they most want in a mate. If
a potential match should happen to pass by, their phones will call each
other. You won't know who's on the other end of the call -- a smooth
operator or someone with a lot of hang-ups.

--