[Rhodes22-list] PC Joke

[Eaton, Gil]

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1. Rhyme Without Reason
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by Lincoln Spector

Here's what the great poets have to say about computers and technology...

Edgar Allan Poe

Once upon a midnight dreary, while I pondered, weak and weary
Over many a mystic message, errors I could not ignore?
Soul as dark as looters looting, my PC I thought of shooting.
Damn machine that would, when booting, give me errors I abhor.
No programs, documents, or settings. Just the errors I abhor.
Only this, and nothing more.

Ah, distinctly I remember, something written in assembler
When installed did quick dismember Windows to its very core.
Though the program was not beta, wiped my settings and my data
Oh, you cruel, corrupting fate! A chill that reached me to the core.
Nothing like a bad computer chills me to the very core.
'Tis the thing I most deplore.

As I sat there, terror-stricken?data gone in Word and Quicken?
In my office strode a chicken?dignified, the air she bore.
Fearing neither sun nor winter, cut or burn or wooden splinter,
Climbed onto my laser printer, four feet high above the floor.
Over paper, plugs, and cables, four feet high above the floor.
Laid an egg and nothing more.

Seeing her, my soul grew higher; smiling, I said "Welcome, fryer,
"There is something I desire. So I'll ask, so I'll implore.
"Windows finds in me but error; fills my soul with darkest terror.
"Will I boot up sweet and fair or will my system work no more?
"Oh, my fine and feathered chicken, will my system work once more?
Quote the chicken, "No restore."

Hearing that, my pulse did quicken, but to listen to a chicken
Would imply a skull that's thickened to a width not seen before.
Fearing mind of mine would crack up, swearing not to get my hack up,
Cried I "Wait! I have a backup! Back up in my cabinet drawer."
But my backup was too old. Three years it sat within my cabinet draw.
Quote the chicken, "No restore."

And the chicken, never flitting, still is sitting, still is sitting
On that cabled laser printer as her mess grows on my floor.
And her eyes have all the knowing of a monitor that's glowing
And my chances are not growing that my data I'll restore.
Not my data nor my Windows nor my pride will I restore.
All is gone forevermore.

Gil Eaton
S/V Dream Catcher
Spring Cove Marina
Rock Hall, MD