[Rhodes22-list] Diversity & comic relief?

[Steve]

Excellent Chris:-)
Steve

--- Chris Geankoplis <napoli68 at charter.net> wrote:
> My sister sent this to me, I thought if we did the
> same thing on a list with
> our diverse group it would turn out much the same!
> 
> Remember the book 'Men are from Mars, Women are from
> Venus?'
> Well, here's a prime example offered by an English
> professor at Penn.
> 
> 
> "Today we will experiment with a new form called the
> tandem story. The
> process is simple. Each person will pair off with
> the person sitting to his
> or her immediate right. One of you will then write
> the first paragraph of a
> short story. The partner will read the first
> paragraph and then add another
> paragraph to the story. The first person will then
> add a third paragraph,
> and so on back and forth. Remember to re-read what
> has been written each
> time in order to keep the story coherent. There is
> to be absolutely NO
> talking and anything you wish to say must be written
> on the paper. The story
> is over when both agree a conclusion has been
> reached."
> 
> The following was actually turned in by two of my
> English students:
> 
> Rebecca -last name deleted, and Gary - last name
> deleted.
> 
>
--------------------------------------------------------------
> 
> STORY:
> 
> (First paragraph by Rebecca)
> 
> At first, Laurie couldn't decide which kind of tea
> she wanted. The chamomile
> which used to be her favorite for lazy evenings at
> home, now reminded her
> too much of Carl, who once said, in happier times,
> that he liked chamomile.
> But she felt she must now, at all costs, keep her
> mind off Carl. His
> possessiveness was suffocating, and if she thought
> about him too much her
> asthma started acting up again. So chamomile was out
> of the question.
> 
>
------------------------------------------------------
> 
> (Second paragraph by Gary)
> 
> Meanwhile, Advance Sergeant Carl Harris, leader of
> the attack squadron now
> in orbit over Skylon 4, had more important things to
> think about than the
> neuroses of an air-headed asthmatic bimbo named
> Laurie with whom he had
> spent one sweaty night over a year ago. "A.S. Harris
> to Geostation 17, he
> said into his transgalactic communicator. "Polar
> orbit established. No sign
> of resistance so far..." But before he could sign
> off, a bluish particle
> beam flashed out of nowhere and blasted a hole
> through his ship's cargo bay.
> The jolt from the direct hit sent him flying out of
> his seat and across the
> cockpit.
> 
>
----------------------------------------------------------
> 
> (Rebecca)
> 
> He bumped his head and died almost immediately but
> not before he felt one
> last pang of regret for psychically brutalizing the
> one woman who had ever
> had feelings for him. Soon afterwards, Earth stopped
> its pointless
> hostilities towards the peaceful farmers of Skylon
> 4. "Congress Passes Law
> Permanently Abolishing War and Space Travel," Laurie
> read in her newspaper
> one morning. The news simultaneously excited her and
> bored her. She stared
> out the window, dreaming of her youth, when the days
> had passed unhurriedly
> and carefree, with no newspapers to read, no
> television to distract her from
> her sense of innocent wonder at all the beautiful
> things around her. "Why
> must one lose one^s innocence to become a woman?"
> she pondered wistfully.
> 
>
---------------------------------------------------------
> 
> (Gary)
> 
> Little did she know, but she had less than 10
> seconds to live.
> Thousands of miles above the city, the Anu'udrian
> mothership launched the
> first of its lithium fusion missiles. The dim-witted
> wimpy peaceniks who
> pushed the Unilateral Aerospace Disarmament Treaty
> through the congress had
> left Earth a defenseless target for the hostile
> alien empires who were
> determined to destroy the human race. Within two
> hours after the passage of
> the treaty the Anu'udrian ships were on course for
> Earth, carrying enough
> firepower to pulverize the entire planet. With no
> one to stop them, they
> swiftly initiated their diabolical plan. The lithium
> fusion missile entered
> the atmosphere unimpeded. The President, in his
> top-secret Mobile submarine
> headquarters on the ocean floor off the coast of
> Guam, felt the
> inconceivably massive explosion, which vaporized
> poor, stupid, Laurie and 85
> million other Americans. The President slammed his
> fist on the conference
> table. "We can't allow this! I'm going to veto that
> treaty! Let's blow 'em
> out of
> the sky!"
> 
>
----------------------------------------------------------
> 
> (Rebecca)
> 
> This is absurd. I refuse to continue this mockery of
> literature. My writing
> partner is a violent, chauvinistic semi-literate
> adolescent.
> 
>
----------------------------------------------------------
> 
> (Gary)
> 
> Yeah? Well, you're a self-centered tedious neurotic
> whose attempts at
> writing are the literary equivalent of Valium. "Oh
> shall I have chamomile
> tea? Or shall I have some other sort of F*CKING
> TEA??? Oh no, I'm such an
> air headed bimbo who reads too many Danielle Steele
> novels."
> 
>
----------------------------------------------------------
> 
> (Rebecca)
> 
> Asshole.
> 
>
----------------------------------------------------------
> 
> (Gary)
> 
> Bitch.
> 
>
----------------------------------------------------------
> 
> (Rebecca)
> 
> Wanker.
> 
>
----------------------------------------------------------
> 
> (Gary)
> 
> Slut.
> 
>
---------------------------------------------------------
> 
> (Rebecca)
> 
> Get f*cked.
> 
>
----------------------------------------------------------
> 
> (Gary)
> 
> Eat sh*t.
> 
>
--------------------------------------------------------
> 
> (Rebecca)
> 
> F*CK YOU - YOU NEANDERTHAL!!!
> 
>
----------------------------------------------------------
> 
> (Gary)
> 
> Go drink some tea - whore.
> 
> **********************************************
> 
> (Teacher)
> 
> A+ - I really liked this one.
> 
> 
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> 
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