[Rhodes22-list] The Naked Truth

[brad haslett]

Dear Rhodies,

My better judgement tells me not to share this story,
but what the hell!  You have to expect that when you
fly for a living for over 30 years, sooner or later,
something bad is going to happen.  Like all aviation
accidents, small events take place that don't seem
like a big deal at the time, but, later come back to
bite you in the ass.

I've been flying Memphis to Washington Dulles all
week.  A good trip, excellent crew, nice layover. 
Last night I went out for a sandwich and a couple of
beers and went to bed around ten.  Sometime in the wee
hours of the morning it was time to get rid of the
beer.  I got out of bed and stumbled to the bathroom,
opened the door, took two more steps, and heard the
door close behind me.  WAIT!  WHAT THE ####.  Oh shit!
 I'm in the g@#d#$d hallway NAKED!  Don't panic, don't
panic, find the house phone and call the front desk,
have the night watchman bring a new key.  Good
thinking Bradley!  So I slink down to the elevator
where the house phone is, as best one can slink with
no clothes on.  F#$%, they don't have a house phone! 
SHIT!  OK, OK, THINK!  I slink back to my room and
notice the room next to mine has a DO NOT DISTURB sign
in the key card slot.  Maybe I can use it to open my
door or if not, wake that person up and have them
call.  Jeezo Peezo is this going to be embarrassing. 
Folks, when those doors lock, you're not going to
jimmy it open with a plastic card.  So, I start
knocking.  No answer, shit!  Don't panic, don't panic.
 What the hell am I talking about?  You're bare ass
naked in a hotel you dipshit.  Panic, this is not
going to look good on a resume.  OK, OK, you have to
go to the front desk.  I slink to the other end of the
hallway to the stairwell past the Coke machine.  Hey
wait a minute, there's a liner in the trash can.  Its
clear, not black, but its something!  I pull the liner
out and fashion a loin cloth of sorts.  Try riding an
elevator eight floors naked without feeling just a we
bit self-concious.  Fortunately, the elevator lands
within sight of the front desk.  Even more fortunate,
the night clerk is actually there, not sleeping in the
back as usual.  And its a HE.  "Hey buddy!  I locked
myself out of my room and I need you to bring a key to
807 ASAP.  I mean, right now!  807!  He shows up two
minutes later with a key and a really bad aviation
disaster that could have gotten even worse was
avoided.

Like all accidents, there's lessons to be learned. 
Let me share this lesson with you.  LOCK THE DAMNED
DOOR TO YOUR HOTEL ROOM WHEN YOU GO TO BED!

Brad



		
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