[Rhodes22-list] for ed(jokes)

[Michael Meltzer]

It is with saddest heart that I pass on the following news. Please join me
in remembering a great icon of the entertainment community.

The Pillsbury Doughboy died yesterday of a yeast infection, and
complications from repeated pokes in the belly. He was 71.

Doughboy is survived by his wife, Play Dough, two children, John Dough and
Jane Dough, who has a bun in the oven. He is also survived by his elderly
father, Pop Tart.

Doughboy was buried in a lightly greased coffin. Dozens of celebrities
turned out to pay their respects, including Mrs. Buttersworth, Hungry Jack,
The California Raisins, Betty Crocker, the Hostess Twinkies and Captain
Crunch. The grave site was piled high with flours.

Aunt Jemima delivered the eulogy, and lovingly described Doughboy as a man
who never knew how much he was kneaded. Doughboy rose quickly in show
business, but his later life was filled with turnovers. He was not
considered a very smart "cookie", wasting much of his dough on half-baked
schemes.

Despite being a little flaky at times, he still, as a crusty old man, was
considered a roll model for millions.

The funeral was held at 3:50 for about 20 minutes

 - from John Raso

--
********** You might live in New England ************

 1. If you consider it a sport to gather your food by drilling through 36
inches of ice and sitting there all day hoping that the food will swim by,
you might live in New England.
 2. If you're proud that your region makes the national news 96 nights each
year because Mt. Washington is the coldest spot in the nation, and Boston
gets more snow than any other major city in the US, you might live in New
England.
 3. If your local Dairy Queen is closed from September through May, you
might live in New England
 4. If you instinctively walk like a penguin for six months out of the year,
you might live in New England.
 5. If someone in a Home Depot store offers you assistance, and they don't
work there, you might live in New England.
 6. If you have worn shorts and a parka at the same time, you might live in
New England.
 7. If your town has more bars than churches, you might live in New England.
 8. If you have had a lengthy telephone conversation with someone who dialed
a wrong number, you might live in New England.
 9. If your dad's suntan stops at a line curving around the middle of his
forehead, you might live in New England.

****YOU KNOW YOU ARE A TRUE NEW ENGLANDER WHEN: *****

 1. "Vacation" means going South past New York City for the weekend.
 2. You measure distance in hours.
 3. You know several people who have hit a deer more than once.
 4. You often switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day and back again.
 5. You can drive 65 mph through 2 feet of snow during a raging blizzard,
without flinching.
 6. You see people wearing camouflage at social events (including weddings).
 7. You install security lights on your house and garage and leave both
unlocked.
 8. You carry jumper cables in your car and your girlfriend / wife knows how
to use them.
 9. You design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit.
10. Driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with
snow
11. You know all 4 seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter, and road
construction.
12. You can identify a southern or eastern accent.
13. Your idea of creative landscaping is a statue of a deer next to your
blue spruce.
14. You were unaware that there is a legal drinking age.
15. Down South to you means Philadelphia.
16. A brat is something you eat.
17. Your neighbor throws a party to celebrate his new shed.
18. You go out for a fish fry every Friday.
19. Your 4th of July picnic was moved indoors due to frost -- Mumf query:
Fred Frost?).
20. You have more miles on your snow blower than your car.
21. You find 10 degrees "a little chilly."
22. You saw the Pats kick Indy's ass again in Foxboro

 - from Jim Pocius