[Rhodes22-list] jokes 2

[michael meltzer]

CAR TROUBLE
A blonde pushes her BMW into a gas station. She tells
the mechanic it 
died.
After he works on it for a few minutes, it is idling
smoothly. She 
asks,
"What's the story?"

He replies, "Just crap in the carburetor."

She asks, "How often do I have to do that?"

SPEEDING TICKET
A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks
her very nicely 
if he
could see her license. She replied in a huff, "I wish
you guys would 
get
your act together. Just yesterday, you take away my
license and then 
today
you expect me to show it to you!"

RIVER WALK
There's this blonde out for a walk. She comes to a
river and sees 
another
blonde on the opposite bank. "Yoo-hoo!" she shouts,
"How can I get to 
the
other side?"

The second blonde looks up the river then down the
river and shouts 
back,
"DUH... You ARE on the other side."

AT THE DOCTOR'S OFFICE
A gorgeous young redhead goes into the doctor's office
and said that 
her
body hurt wherever she touched it.

"Impossible!" says the doctor. "Show me."

The redhead took her finger, pushed on her left breast
and screamed, 
then
she pushed her elbow and screamed in even more. She
pushed her knee and
screamed; likewise she pushed her ankle and screamed.
Everywhere she 
touched
made her scream. The doctor asked, "You're not really
a redhead, are 
you?"

"Well, no" she said, "I'm actually a blonde."

"I thought so," the doctor said. "You have a broken
finger."

KNITTING
A highway patrolman pulled alongside a speeding car on
the freeway. 
Glancing
at the car, he was astounded to see that the blonde
behind the wheel 
was
knitting! Realizing that she was oblivious to his
flashing lights and 
siren,
the trooper cranked down his window, turned on his
bullhorn and yelled,
"PULL OVER!"

"NO!" the blonde yelled back, "SCARF!"

BLONDE ON THE SUN
A Russian, an American, and a Blonde were talking one
day. The Russian 
said,
"We were the first in space!"

The American said, "We were the first on the moon!"

The Blonde said, "So what? We're going to be the first
on the sun!"

The Russian and the American looked at each other and
shook their 
heads.
"You can't land on the sun, you dumbass! You'll burn
up!" said the 
Russian.

To which the Blonde replied, "We're not stupid, you
know. We're going 
at
night!"

IN A VACUUM
A blonde was playing Trivial Pursuit one night. It was
her turn. She 
rolled
the dice and she landed on Science & Nature. Her
question was, "If you 
are
in a vacuum and someone calls your name, can you hear
it?"

She thought for a minute and then asked, "Is it on or
off?"

FINALLY, THE BLONDE JOKE TO END ALL BLONDE JOKES...
A girl was visiting her blonde friend, who had
acquired two new dogs, 
and
asked her what their names were. The blonde responded
by saying that 
one was
named Rolex and one was named Timex. Her friend asked,
"Whoever heard 
of
someone naming dogs like that?"

"HELLLOOOOOOO... ," answered the blonde. "They're
watch dogs!"



		
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