[Rhodes22-list] jokes

[Saroj Gilbert]

thanks, Michael... I needed a laugh...

Saroj

P.S. I notice that when I do a Reply (not Reply All), both the list address 
and the sender's address are put into the "To" field... does that mean we 
will get back double of every response someone makes to a posting to the 
list??

----- Original Message ----- 
From: "michael meltzer" <michaelmeltzer at yahoo.com>
To: <rhodes22-list at rhodes22.org>
Sent: Saturday, October 01, 2005 7:06 PM
Subject: [Rhodes22-list] jokes


> You may not know that many non-living things have a
> gender; for
> example...
>
> 1. ZIPLOC BAGS -- are Male, because they hold
> everything in, but you
> can
> see right through them.
> 2. COPIERS -- are Female, because once turned off, it
> takes a while to
> warm
> them up again. It's an effective reproductive device
> if the right
> buttons
> are pushed, but can wreak havoc if the wrong buttons
> are pushed.
> 3. TIRES-- are Male, because they go bald and are
> often over-inflated.
> 4. HOT AIR BALLOONS -- are Male, because, to get them
> to go anywhere,
> you
> have to light a fire under it, and of course, there's
> the hot air part.
> 5 SPONGES-- are Female, because they're soft,
> squeezable and retain
> water.
> 6. WEB PAGES -- are Female, because they're always
> getting hit on.
> 7. SUBWAYS-- are Male, because they use the same old
> lines to pick up
> people.
> 8. HOURGLASSES -- are Female, because over time, the
> weight shifts to
> the
> bottom.
> 9. HAMMERS -- are Male, because they haven't changed
> much over the
> last
> 5,000 years, but are handy to have around.
> 10. REMOTE CONTROLS -- are Female...Ha! You thought
> they'd be male.
> However,
> consider this -- it gives a man pleasure, he'd be lost
> without it, and
> while
> he doesn't always know the right buttons to push, he
> keeps trying.
>
> ============================================================
> How do you get a sweet little 80-year-old lady to say
> the F... word?
> Get
> another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell *BINGO*!
>
> --
> A man is dining in a fancy restaurant and there is a
> gorgeous redhead
> sitting at the next table. He has been checking her
> out since he sat
> down,
> lacks the nerve to talk with her.
>
> Suddenly she sneezes, and her glass eye comes flying
> out of its socket
> towards the man.
>
> He reflexively reaches out, grabs it out of the air,
> and hands it back.
>
> Oh my, I am so sorry, " the woman says as she pops her
> eye back in
> place.
>
> "Let me buy your dinner to make it up to you," she
> says.
>
> They enjoy a wonderful dinner together, and afterwards
> they go to the
> theater followed by drinks. They talk, they laugh, she
> shares her
> deepest
> dreams and he shares his. She listens.
>
> After paying for everything, she asks him if he would
> like to come to
> her
> place for a nightcap and stay for breakfast.
>
> They had a wonderful, wonderful time.
>
> The next morning, she cooks a gourmet meal with all
> the trimmings. The
> guy
> is amazed!! Everything had been SO incredible!!!!
>
> "You know, " he said, "you are the perfect woman. Are
> you this nice to
> every
> guy you meet?"
>
> "No, " she replies. "You just happened to catch my
> eye."
>
>
>
>
>
> __________________________________
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