[Rhodes22-list] New Orleans et al.

[Nell]

Bill Maher, HBO's "Real Time With Bill Maher," Sept. 9, 2005

 

""New rule: America must recall the president. That's what this country
needs - a good old-fashioned, California-style recall election, complete
with Gary Coleman, porno actresses, and action film stars. And just like
Schwarzenegger's predecessor here in California, George Bush is now so
unpopular, he must now defend his job against Russell Crowe, because at this
point I want a leader who will throw a phone at somebody. In fact, let's
have only phone throwers. Naomi Campbell can be the vice president.

"Now I kid, but seriously, Mr. President, this job can't be fun for you
anymore. There's no more money to spend; you used up all of that. You can't
start another war because you also used up the army. And now, darn the luck,
the rest of your term has become the Bush family nightmare: helping poor
people. Yeah, listen to your mom, the cupboard's bare, the credit card's
maxed out, and no one's speaking to you. Mission accomplished.

"Now it's time to do what you've always done best: lose interest and walk
away. Like you did with your military service. And the oil company. And the
baseball team. It's time to move on and try the next fantasy job. How about
cowboy or spaceman? Now, I know what you're saying, you're saying that there
are so many other things that you as president could involve yourself in.
Please don't. I know, there's a lot left to do. There's a war with
Venezuela, and eliminating the sales tax of yachts, turning the space
program over to the church and Social Security to Fannie Mae, giving embryos
the vote.

"But sir, none of that is going to happen now. Why? Because you govern like
Billy Joel drives. You've performed so poorly, I'm surprised you haven't
given
yourself a medal. You're a catastrophe that walks like a man. Herbert Hoover
was a shitty president, but even he never conceded an entire metropolis to
rising water and snakes. On your watch, we've lost almost all of our allies,
the surplus, four airliners, two trade centers, a piece of the Pentagon, and
the city of New Orleans. Maybe you're just not lucky. I'm not saying you
don't love this country, I'm just wondering how much worse it could be if
you were on the other side. So yes, God does speak to you, and what he's
saying is, 'Take a hint.'"