[Rhodes22-list] Dear Dad, (JOKE)

[3drecon at comcast.net]

A FATHER PASSING BY HIS SON'S BEDROOM WAS ASTONISHED TO SEE THE BED WAS
NICELY MADE AND EVERYTHING WAS PICKED UP.

THEN HE SAW AN ENVELOPE PROPPED UP PROMINENTLY ON THE CENTER OF THE BED.   IT WAS ADDRESSED, "DAD".   WITH MUCH TREPIDATION AND THE WORSE OF FEARS, HE OPENED THE ENVELOPE AND  READ THE LETTER WITH NERVOUS AND SHAKING HANDS:

DEAR DAD,

IT IS WITH GREAT REGRET AND MUCH SORROW THAT I'M WRITING THIS TO YOU.

I HAD TO ELOPE WITH MY NEW GIRLFRIEND BARBARA, BECAUSE I WANTED TO AVOID A SCENE WITH MOM AND YOU.   I'VE BEEN FINDING REAL PASSION WITH BARBARA, HER FOR ME TOO!  SHE IS SO NICE EVEN WITH ALL HER PIERCINGS, TATTOOS, AND HER TIGHT MOTORCYCLE CLOTHES.  I KNOW THAT KIND OF STUFF BOTHERS YOU A LOT; PLEASE FORGIVE HER, SHE HAS A GOOD HEART.

BUT IT'S NOT ONLY THE PASSION, D AD - S HE'S PREGNANT AND BARBARA ASSURES
ME  THAT WE WILL BE VERY HAPPY TOGETHER.  EVEN THOUGH YOU DON'T CARE FOR HER BECAUSE SHE IS SO MUCH OLDER THAN I AM YOU SHOULD KNOW THAT SHE ALREADY OWNS A TRAILER IN THE WOODS AND HAS A STACK OF FIREWOOD ENOUGH FOR THE WHOLE WINTER.  SHE WANTS TO HAVE MANY MORE CHILDREN WITH ME AND THAT'S NOW ONE OF MY DREAMS TOO.

BARBARA TAUGHT ME THAT MARIJUANA DOESN'T REALLY HURT ANYONE AND WE'LL BE GROWING IT FOR OURSELVES AND TRADING IT WITH HER FRIENDS FOR ALL THE COCAINE AND ECSTASY WE NEED.

IN THE MEANTIME, WE PRAY THAT SCIENCE WILL FIND A CURE FOR AIDS SO THAT
BARBARA CAN GET BETTER; SHE SURE DESERVES IT!

DON'T WORRY, DAD, I'M 15 YEARS OLD NOW AND YOU TAUGHT ME HOW TO TAKE CARE OF MYSELF. I WANT TO THANK YOU FOR ALL YOU R HELP AND ADVICE THESE YEARS.  SOMEDAY I'M SURE WE'LL BE BACK TO VISIT SO YOU CAN GET TO KNOW YOUR  GRANDCHILDREN.

YOUR SON, 


JOHN

P.S. DAD, D ON'T HAVE A HEART ATTACK. NONE OF THIS IS TRUE. I'M OVER AT
BILLY'S HOUSE.  I JUST WANTED TO REMIND YOU THAT THERE ARE WORSE THINGS IN LIFE THAN MY REPORT CARD WHICH IS IN MY DESK CENTER DRAWER.

I LOVE YOU !

P.P.S: CALL ME WHEN IT'S SAFE TO COME HOME