[Rhodes22-list] Joke -- CHENEY SAYS SHOOTING OF FELLOW HUNTER WAS BASED ON FAULTY INTELLIGENCE

[Bill Effros]

*Breaking News
*  
  
 
*CHENEY SAYS SHOOTING OF FELLOW HUNTER WAS BASED ON FAULTY INTELLIGENCE
*
*Believed Shooting Victim Was Zawahiri, Veep Says
*Vice President Dick Cheney revealed today that he shot a fellow hunter 
while on a quail hunting trip over the weekend because he believed the 
man was the fugitive terror mastermind Ayman al-Zawahiri.

Mr. Cheney acknowledged that the man he sprayed with pellets on Saturday 
was not al-Zawahiri but rather Harry Whittington, a 78-year-old 
millionaire lawyer from Austin, blaming the mix-up on "faulty 
intelligence."

"I believed I had credible intelligence that al-Zawahiri had infiltrated 
my hunting party in disguise with the intent of spraying me with 
pellets," Mr. Cheney told reporters.  "Only after I shot Harry in the 
face and he shouted 'Cheney, you bastard' did I realize that this 
intelligence was faulty."

Moments after Mr. Cheney's assault on Mr. Whittington, Mr. al-Zawahiri 
appeared in a new videotape broadcast on al-Jazeera to announce that he 
was uninjured in the vice president's attack because, in his words, "I 
was in Pakistan."

An aide to the vice president said he believed that the American people 
would believe Mr. Cheney's version of events, but added, "If he was 
going to shoot any of his cronies right now it's a shame it wasn't Jack 
Abramoff."

At the White House, President George W. Bush defended his vice 
president's shooting of a fellow hunter, saying that the attack sent "a 
strong message to terrorists everywhere."

"The message is, if Dick Cheney is willing to shoot an innocent American 
citizen at point-blank range, imagine what he'll do to you," Mr. Bush said.

Elsewhere, aviator Steve Fossett completed his three-day journey around 
the globe, setting a world record for wasting both time and money.  
  
  
*ANDY'S NEXT SHOW - MONDAY, FEBRUARY 27
* Save the date! Andy's next New York show is Monday, February 27 at Mo 
Pitkin's House of Satisfaction, 34 Avenue A between 2nd and 3rd. Doors 
open at 8; show begins at 8:30. Tickets $6 at the door or at 
www.ticketweb.com.    
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