[Rhodes22-list] MJM's Jokes

[benonvelvetelvis at theskinnyonbenny.com]

Brad,

I never thought that I would have a common story with you, but I also have a
"bizarre restroom attendent in Asia" story.

We were in a dark little bar in Bangkok.  It was down the street from my parents'
apartment, and they were frequent visitors to the bar.  It was a shade on the
seedy side, but not really too bad.

The restroom there was large, dark, and unisex.  I was standing at the urinal as
a group of women came in and disappeared into stalls without a second glance my
way.  Then, the attendent came up behind me and started a shoulder massage while
I was mid-stream.  Talk about dry you up in a hurry! 

I was a little freaked out, but apparently, he just does this in order to get a
bigger tip.  It happens to everyone, and he "doesn't mean anything by it."

I chose not to tip this particular attendent.  And oh yeah, it was a guy.

Ben




On Wed, 4 Jan 2006 07:41 , brad haslett <flybrad at yahoo.com> sent:

>MJM,
>
>Thanks for the jokes, I've already forwarded them to
>about a dozen people.  The one about the bathroom
>attendant reminded me of an incident that happened to
>us a few years ago BC (before Cora).  I wanted to see
>where the Great Wall met the sea and follow the path
>of the Manchu army into Beijing.  We took a six hour
>train ride and then had to wait until after midnight
>to catch a train back home.  The station was unheated
>and you could see your breath.  I'd been drinking beer
>with dinner (thanks to a wonderful couple that took
>pity on us) and couldn't wait for the train, which no
>doubt would have been much cleaner than the station. 
>I asked Fan for some money to pay the attendant and
>she gave me some monopoly money with a 20 on it,
>assuming it was 20 RNB, about $2.5 US, expecting the
>fee to be around 20 mao, less than a US nickel. The
>attendant took my 20 and pointed me toward the piss
>wall.  I was cold, tired, and weary of being jerked
>around all day, and started in on him with my best
>"ugly American" act, in English of course.  "Listen
>asshole, I've been scammed all over the world by
>bigger jerks than you and I want my f*&king change!" 
>He started screaming back in Mandarin and after about
>a minute I thought, forget principle, two and half
>bucks isn't enought money to spent the night in a
>Chinese jail over (we had already been kicked out of a
>hotel earlier in the evening for being an American
>with a Chinese whore - another story for another
>day)..  After taking care of business I made a snide
>comment to the old man leaving the restroom and went
>back to Fan.  I told her the whole story and how I'd
>been cheated out of my change.  She started laughing,
>"you idiot, that was a 20 mao bill!"  "You have BILLS
>for less than a nickel of purchasing power?  Give me a
>break!"
>
>Every time I go to a bathroom with an attendant I
>think of that story.
>
>Brad
>
>
>		
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