[Rhodes22-list] Joke

[brad haslett]

MJM,

Back atcha!  Brad

 
A little old lady is walking down the street, dragging
two plastic garbage bags with her, one in each hand.
There's a hole in one of the bags, and every once in a
while a $20 bill is flying out of it onto the
pavement. 

Noticing this, a policeman stops her...."Ma'am, there
are $20 bills falling out of that bag..." "Damn!" says
the little old lady....."I'd better go back and see if
I can still find some. Thanks for the warning!" 

"Well, now, not so fast," says the cop. "How did you
get all that money?" " Did you steal it?" 

"Oh, no", says the little old lady. "You see, my back
yard backs up to the parking lot of the football
stadium. Each time there's a game, a lot of fans come
and pee in the bushes, right into my flower beds!" 

"So, I go and stand behind the bushes with a big hedge
clipper, and each time someone sticks his little
thingie through the bushes, I say: $20 or off it
comes!" 

"Hey, not a bad idea!" laughs the cop. "OK, good luck!
By the way, what's in the other bag?" 

"Well", says the little old lady, "not all of them pay
up".... 
 






------------



--- Michael Meltzer <mjm at michaelmeltzer.com> wrote:

> An elderly couple is enjoying an anniversary dinner
> together in a small
> tavern. The husband leans over and asks his wife,
> "Do you remember the first
> time we had sex together over fifty years ago? We
> went behind this tavern
> where you leaned against the fence and I made love
> to you." "Yes," she says,
> "I remember it well." "OK," he says, "How about
> taking a stroll round there
> again and we can do it for old time's sake.
> "Oooooooh, Henry, you old devil,
> that sounds like a good idea," she answers. 
> 
>  
> 
> There's a police officer sitting in the next booth
> listening to all this,
> having a chuckle to himself. He thinks, "I've got to
> see these two old-
> timers having sex against a fence. I'll just keep an
> eye on them so there's
> not any trouble." So he follows them. 
> 
>  
> 
> They walk haltingly along, leaning on each other for
> support, aided by
> walking sticks. Finally they get to the back of the
> tavern and make their
> way to the fence. The old lady lifts her skirt,
> takes her knickers down and
> the Old man drops his trousers. She turns around and
> as she hangs on to the
> fence, the old man moves in. Suddenly they erupt
> into the most furious sex
> that the watching policeman has ever seen. 
> 
>  
> 
> They are bucking and jumping like
> eighteen-year-olds. This goes on for about
> forty minutes! She's yelling, "Ohhh, God!" He's
> hanging on to her hips for
> dear life. This is the most athletic sex imaginable.
> 
> 
>  
> 
> Finally, they both collapse panting on the ground.
> The policeman is amazed.
> He thinks he's learned something about life that he
> didn't know. 
> 
>  
> 
> After about half an hour of lying on the ground
> recovering, the old couple
> struggle to their feet and put their clothes back
> on. The policeman, still
> watching thinks, "that was truly amazing - that old
> man was going like a
> train- I've got To ask him what his secret is." 
> 
>  
> 
> As the couple pass, he says to them, "That was
> something else. You had sex
> for about forty minutes. How do you manage it? You
> must have had a fantastic
> life together. Is there some sort of secret?" 
> 
>  
> 
> The old man says, "Fifty years ago that wasn't an
> electric fence."
> 
> 
> > -----Original Message-----
> > From: rhodes22-list-bounces at rhodes22.org
> [mailto:rhodes22-list-
> > bounces at rhodes22.org] On Behalf Of brad haslett
> > Sent: Wednesday, June 21, 2006 12:45 PM
> > To: rhodes22-list at rhodes22.org
> > Subject: [Rhodes22-list] Joke
> > 
> > Miss Beatrice, the church organist, was in her
> > eighties. She was admired for her sweetness and
> > kindness to all. One afternoon the pastor came to
> call
> > on her and she showed him into her quaint sitting
> > room. She invited him to have a seat while she
> > prepared tea.
> > 
> > As he sat facing her old Hammond organ, the young
> > minister noticed a cut-glass bowl sitting on top
> of
> > it. The bowl was filled with water, and in the
> water
> > floated, of all things, a condom! When she
> returned
> > with tea and  scones, they began to chat.
> > 
> > The pastor tried to stifle his curiosity about the
> > bowl of water and its strange floater, but soon it
> got
> > the better of him and He could no longer resist.
> "Miss
> > Beatrice", he said, "I wonder if you would tell me
> > about this?" pointing to the bowl.
> > 
> > "Oh, yes," she replied, "Isn't it wonderful? I was
> > walking through the Park a few months ago and I
> found
> > this little package on the ground. The directions
> said
> > to place it on the organ, keep it wet and that it
> > would prevent the spread of disease. Do you know I
> > haven't had the flu all winter?"
> > 
> > 
> > 
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