[Rhodes22-list] Joke: "Operation Relentless Smear"

[Bill Effros]

*U.S. Bombards Insurgents With Negative Ads
*
*'Operation Relentless Smear' Is Launched In Iraq

*In a bold change of strategy in the war in Iraq, President George W. 
Bush announced today that the U.S. had begun bombarding Iraqi insurgents 
with negative ads in the hopes of bringing the insurgency to its knees.

At a White House briefing today, spokesman Tony Snow said that the new 
military campaign, called Operation Relentless Smear, would focus on 
attacking the personal missteps and hypocrisies of key Iraqi insurgents 
on a twenty-four-hour basis.

"This new strategy is playing to our strengths," Mr. Snow told 
reporters.  "The insurgents are good at blowing things up and creating 
chaos, but no one is better than we are at creating negative ads."

According to Mr. Snow, Operation Relentless Smear will re-deploy 
thousands of negative ad producers, directors, and voiceover artists who 
were momentarily idle at the conclusion of the U.S.'s midterm election 
campaign.

Masterminded by the White House's top political strategist Karl Rove, 
the bombardment of negative ads began at midnight Wednesday, 
interrupting all local Iraqi programming with a nonstop diet of 
half-truths, corrosive accusations and character assassination.

By Thursday morning, there were already signs that Operation Relentless 
Smear was working, as Iraqi insurgents in such key cities as Baghdad and 
Tikrit appeared worn out by the onslaught of slickly produced attack ads.

"The air strikes and the curfews were one thing," said Hassan 
El-Medfaii, an insurgent who is based in Baghdad's Sadr City district. 
 "But this is messing with my TV."

Elsewhere, US Airways made an $8 billion bid for Delta, including $4 
billion in cash and $4 billion in lost luggage.  
 

borowitzreport.com

Bill Effros