[Rhodes22-list] Re: the official Annapolis Rhodes 22 Show Report

[L. Sailor]

Only Stan can make a "Series of Unfortunate Events" sound like a great adventure. 
  Remember youse guys always have a berth in VA's No. Neck.
   
  elle

stan <stan at rhodes22.com> wrote:
  
The Show started on a balmy note as Art and I motored into our rented slip and raised the mast just outside the show entrance in time to beat a radical weather change. Five days later we are happy to report a successful show, a wiser and older crew and a safe at home call - after a series of offensive and defensive errors.

As the only surviving charter exhibitor still showing a 22 foot sailboat at the greatest sailboat show on earth, we had been given a gold badge on the show's 25th anniversary (some many years ago) and invited to an exclusive party where we were allowed to tell our story:

For years we had been taking the same space and show biz was good. One year we came and could not fit into our sacred territory. I called Carol, the show manager, and explained the problem. She explained that we had fit this space for all these years so we must be cheating and showing a bigger boat this year. We explained that we had managed all these years by projecting into the exhibitor's space in front of us and allowing them to project into our space and that this year she had put a tented exhibitor in our projected area and so this year we could not fit. She explained that the show was sold out and that we would have to cut 3 feet off the boat and call it the Rhodes 19. I explained that there already was a Rhodes 19 and that, in fact, another exhibitor was showing it at this very same show and therefore the public would be confused - but not to worry, I would go into my creative mode and scan the show for a way out. She gave me one hour to come up with an ingenious
 idea and get the boat out of the aisle which, she explained, the fire department considered a fire lane, or go buy a chain saw. I looked up and in 2 seconds saw the solution.
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"Carol" I said, "take that row of toilet booths and put them in our space and move us into the toilet exhibit".

"Brilliant" she said, "Maybe you should be managing the show", and in two seconds a fork lift was lifting the first of the green toilet booths high into the air, when I noticed the door of the booth starting to open. Immediately I wanted to shout a warning; what came out was, "Watch that first step". Other exhibitors were envious when they saw the crowds at our exhibit during the show, not realizing the public was lining up to use the Rhodes head. 

But now Carol, the show owners and all our old friends from the original show team have passed on and new management, seeing us as the tiny nothing company we are and nullifying longevity values, put us at the end of the line, squeeze us in between Catalina and Hunter and take away our free in-the-water demo space. But not to cry for good old GB - we manage a slip just outside the show for our demo boat sailing while loyal Rhodies like Art, Jay, Ed and others are showing up in our doting years to give us a Tom Sawyer like hand.

This year it was Art helping the demo boat launching at the Thruxton Park ramp. And when we parked the emptied, unsecured trailer there, I explained I simply remove the 2 extension tongue pins so any trailer thief would soon find he was pulling a ten foot length of clanking metal tubing down the street while the falling-behind-trailer was causing a massive car pile up behind him that would undoubtedly result in his being called by the court as a witness. 

When we were finally set up to slay the giants, the weather suddenly turned on us. It rained, the winds howled and the temperature convinced us the wizard had moved us to Minnesota. Nevertheless Art gave demonstrations - unfortunately, to prospects who already owned Rhodes 22s. Jay and Art did sell some boats. Unfortunately, they were not Rhodes. (I think Art sold one Catalina and Jay two Hunters.)

During the show I noticed that Art was explaining the Rhodes swing keel to prospects. Now I know for a fact that the Rhodes does not have a swing keel since every few years I read the promotional material we hand out at the show. But Art is a smart guy and has not one but two "Rhodes" with swing keels so they have to be counterfeits. Or, I must have been remiss in explaining to owners the difference between the Rhodes combination keel/centerboards and swing keels. So let me state right here, if you have a Rhodes with a swing keel, you do not have a Rhodes, no matter what the year. 

The last day of the show the weather changed again. The sun came out and the temperature rose and the wind died, completely. This gave us the excuse to pull out of the war zone before the 5 o'clock massacre when all sailboats must evaporate to allow the circling motor boats into their spaces for the US Motor Boat Show. (You have to see this amazing annual ritual at least once in your lifetime.) With Art an Annapolis graduate, I gave him the job of navigating the boat back to the ramp while I drove the car there to position the trailer for the retrieval.

Another instruction booklet failure: My van has this great feature of a second hitch, this one on the front bumper so I have this great view of my retrievals. I could see Art raising the centerboard in preparation to motoring onto the submerged trailer, now attached to the front of my car. So let me state right here: With a real Rhodes and a real Rhodes trailer, you lower the center board before sailing, motoring or pulling the boat onto its trailer, not raise it. 

Remember the trick of pulling the extension tongue pins to foil a trailer crook?. Well, I found the enemy - and he was me. As I backed up the ramp to pull the rig out of the water, the boat and trailer stayed put and the 10 foot extension bar came out of the water just as easy as can be. I sat there and watched the entire foiled heist. My first fear was that, now detached from the van, the boat and trailer would roll down the ramp. And, while the boat floats, trailers generally do not. And once off the end of the ramp our only Thruxton Park trailer would join the Chesapeake ship grave yard. And, sure enough, the rig started to move down the ramp! Then, a miracle, the law of gravity was repealed, long enough for Art to jump in the water, Gucci shoes and all and hang on for dear life; a miracle to give me pause to raise my faith one notch, from atheist to Brad's category. I quickly recovered from that lapse and jumped out of the van and cleverly disconnected the trailer winch
 strap from the boat and attached it to the car and started to winch the boat back up the ramp - and got punished for jumping faith by the fabric strap parting in the water and a drowning Art again having to hold on for dear life. 

Art then got the brilliant idea that the trailer would be a lot lighter if we floated the boat back off it. So we tied a line to the car and backed the rig deeper into the water and relieved the trailer of the boat load. With some miner engineering feats and submerged jacks, we got the run-a-way tongue back into the trailer sockets and eventually got the boat out of the water. Besides shoes, I think the only casualties were some landside watchers deciding that buying a sailboat was not for them.

It is all relative. Up to now things were going relatively smoothly. Outside a-by-now dark Washington DC, just before the new Potomac River bridge where the shoulders disappear, on highly utilized, high speed I-95, the trailer bounced off the hitch ball. Someone had forgotten to tighten the coupler's locking knob. You do not want to hear the rest of this story but when it was all cleared up and I asked the Maryland Highway crew chief what I owed for the wonderful service, the graceful response was, "Nothing. Just get out of my state".

Virginia State Route 460, for the first time in my experience, suddenly ended with a barricade. If I had known then it was merely because of flooding, having a boat, I would have gone for it instead of taking the hour and a half detour. Actually I would have enjoyed seeing the new-to-me rural countryside detour - if it were not so dark and I wasn't driving in my sleep.

As I learned to chant as a kid growing up in Brooklyn and rooting for the those bums, the Brooklyn Dodgers, "Wait til next Year". I think I got it down pat now.

To Art, Jay, Mary Lou, Michael, the Greens and all the other Rhodies who showed up at the show to lie about the boat to all those prospects who braved the elements, many thanks.

stan
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