[Rhodes22-list] Political humor

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Gonzales to Spend More Time Eavesdropping on His Family 

‘Domestic Surveillance Begins at Home,’ Former A.G. Says

Attorney  General Alberto Gonzales resigned today, effective immediately, 
telling  reporters that he wanted to spend more time eavesdropping on his family. 
 

Mr. Gonzales, a champion of domestic surveillance and warrantless  wiretaps 
while in office, said he was “totally stoked” about turning his prying  eyes 
on his own family. 

“Domestic surveillance begins at home,” Mr.  Gonzales said at a White House 
press conference. “That means nobody in my family  is above suspicion, not 
even the little ones,” an apparent reference to Mr.  Gonzales’ children. 

Standing by Mr. Gonzales’ side, President George W.  Bush praised his former 
Attorney General, singling out his “courage” for ramping  up his domestic 
spying program on his own family. 

“If every head of  every household was as willing to eavesdrop on his own 
family as my man Alberto  is, we wouldn’t need a Homeland Security Department,” 
Mr. Bush chuckled.  

Mr. Gonzales was noncommittal when a reporter asked him a question about  the 
role that waterboarding and other forms of torture might play in his  
interrogation of family members. 

“Nothing is off the table,” he said.  

Asked about his tenure as Attorney General, Mr. Gonzales was candid  about 
his stormy time in office: “Frankly, I can’t believe it took this long for  
them to shitcan me.” 



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