[Rhodes22-list] Three minute life skills course

[elle]

Let's hoist one for Brad!! Dontcha just love it when a plan comes together!
 
 elle

Brad Haslett <flybrad at gmail.com> wrote: Elle,

Most Excellent!  This has been nothing but a good news day.  I just got a
call from our law firm in Biloxi, after 9 months the lender decided to
accept the insurance payoff from our dump truck loss of 01/04/07.  We still
have two more lawsuits to go from that accident but their persistence will
be rewarded with a big goose egg as well.  You made my day!

Brad

On 8/30/07, elle  wrote:
>
> Y'all may have seen one or more of these...but for the benefit of those
> who haven't...
>
> (Please excuse some of the language. ..Not my vocab...)
>
> elle
>
>
> Florida Fred says....
>
> If you remember all these lessons you will have learned a life's worth of
> advice.
>
> Lesson 1:
> A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her
> shower, when the doorbell rings. The wife quickly wraps herself in a
> towel and runs downstairs.When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the
> next-door neighbor. Before she says a word, Bob says, "I'll give you $800 to
> drop that towel."
> After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in
> front of Bob. After a few seconds, Bob hands her $800 and leaves. The woman
> wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs. When she gets to  the
> bathroom, her husband asks, "Who was that?"
> "It was Bob the next door neighbor," she replies.
> "Great!" the husband says, "did he say anything about the $800 he owes
> me?"
>
> Moral of the story: If you share critical information pertaining to credit
> and risk with your shareholders, in time, you may be in a position to
> prevent avoidable exposure.
>
>
>
> Lesson 2:
> A priest offered a Nun a lift. She got in and crossed her legs, forcing
> her gown to reveal a leg. The priest nearly had an accident.. After
> controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg.
> The nun said, "Father, remember Psalm 129?" The priest removed his hand.
> But, changing gears, he let his hand slide up her leg again. The nun
> once again said, "Father, remember Psalm 129?"
> The priest apologized "Sorry sister but the flesh is weak." Arriving at
> the convent, the nun sighed heavily and went on her way.
> On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129.
> It said, "Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory."
>
> Moral of the story: If you are not well informed in your job, you might
> miss a great opportunity.
>
>
>
> Lesson 3:
> A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to
> lunch when they find an antique oil lamp. They rub it and a Genie comes
> out. The Genie says, "I'll give each of you just one wish."
> "Me first! Me first!" says the admin clerk. "I want to be in the Bahamas,
> driving a speedboat, without a care in the world."
> Puff! She's gone.
> "Me next! Me next!" says the sales rep. "I want to be in Hawaii,
> relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of
> Pina Coladas and the love of my life."
> Puff! He's gone.
> "OK, you're up," the Genie says to the manager. The manager says, "I
> want those two back in the office after lunch."
>
> Moral of the story: Always let your boss have the first say.
>
>
>
> Lesson 4:
> An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing nothing.
> A small rabbit saw the eagle and asked him, "Can I also sit like you and
> do nothing?"
> The eagle answered: "Sure, why not."
> So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the eagle and rested.. All of a
> sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.
>
> Moral of the story: To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting
> very, very high up.
>
>
>
> Lesson 5:
> A turkey was chatting with a bull. "I would love to be able to get to
> the top of that tree," sighed the turkey, "but I haven't got the
> energy."
> "Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?" replied the bull.
> "They're packed with nutrients."
> The turkey pecked at a lump of dung, and found it actually gave him
> enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree. The next day,
> after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch. Finally after
> a fourth night, the turkey was proudly perched at the top of the tree.
> He was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot him out of the tree.
>
> Moral of the story: Bullshit might get you to the top, but it won't
> keep you there!
>
>
>
> Lesson 6:
> A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold the bird
> froze and fell to the ground into a large field. While he was lying
> there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on him.
> As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, he began to
> realize how warm he was. The dung was actually thawing him out! He lay
> there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy.
> A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate. .
> Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow
> dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him.
>
> Moral of the story:
>
> (1) Not everyone who shits on you is your enemy
>
> (2) Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend
>
> (3) And when you're in deep shit, it's best to keep your mouth shut!
>
>
>
> This ends the 3 -minute management course
>
>
>
>
>
> We can't change the angle of the wind....but we can adjust our sails.
>
> 1992 Rhodes 22   Recyc '06  "WaterMusic"   (Lady in Red)
>
> ---------------------------------
> Sick sense of humor? Visit Yahoo! TV's Comedy with an Edge to see what's
> on, when.
> __________________________________________________
> Use Rhodes22-list at rhodes22.org, Help? www.rhodes22.org/list
>
__________________________________________________
Use Rhodes22-list at rhodes22.org, Help? www.rhodes22.org/list



We can't change the angle of the wind....but we can adjust our sails.

 1992 Rhodes 22   Recyc '06  "WaterMusic"   (Lady in Red)
       
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