[Rhodes22-list] Humor, political, Canadian style

[Steven Alm]

Relax, Pete,

You've got nothing to worry about if you have nothing to hide!

Slim

On Dec 5, 2007 2:31 PM, petelargo <petelauritzen at earthlink.net> wrote:

>
> Pretty funny. It's even funnier pretending that we are the ones living in
> a
> free country with actual civil rights.
>
> WARNING: Due to presidential executive orders and signing statements, and
> provisions passed by the previous Republican-controlled Congress, the
> National Security Agency may have read this posting, as well as and any
> other private correspondence of mine, and may listen to my private phone
> conversations without warrant, warning, or notice, and certainly without
> probable cause. They may also arrest me without telling me of any charges
> against me, even transport me outside the United States, and hold me
> secretly and indefinitely in an undisclosed location without notifying my
> wife or relatives, and deny me access to an attorney. They may take my
> property under the executive order of July 17, 2007, never to be returned.
> They may torture me without fear of penalty or repercussions to them for
> their actions. They may do all these things to me, or to you, with little
> or
> no judicial or legislative oversight. This danger became ever more
> apparent,
> and ominous, on Sept. 19, 2007, when the U.S. Senate failed to reinstate
> habeas corpus as an inalienable right of American citizens. I/We have no
> recourse nor protection save to call for the impeachment of the current
> president and vice-president, and voting to remove all rubber-stamp
> Republicans and neocons from office, as well as other elected officials
> acting only in their own interests instead of those of the People and the
> Constitution, be they occupying local, state, or national positions of
> authority.
>
>
>
> Tootle wrote:
> >
> > Big Al, you may delete this post immediately as it has nothing to do
> with
> > sailing.
> >
> > We have not heard from Stan lately, maybe he is among this group?
> >
> >
> __________________________________________________________________________
> > From the Manitoba Herald
> >
> >   The flood of American liberals sneaking across the border into Canada
> > has intensified in the past week, sparking calls for increased patrols
> to
> > stop the illegal immigration.
> >   The actions of President Bush are prompting the exodus among
> > left-leaning citizens who fear they'll soon be required to hunt, pray,
> and
> > agree With Bill O'Reilly.
> >    Canadian border farmers say it's not uncommon to see dozens of
> > sociology professors, animal-rights activists and Unitarians crossing
> > their fields at night.    "I went out to milk the cows the other day,
> and
> > there was a Hollywood producer huddled in the barn," said Manitoba
> farmer
> > Red Greenfield, Whose acreage borders North Dakota.    "The producer was
> > cold, exhausted and hungry. He asked me if I could spare a latte and
> some
> > free-range chicken. When I said I didn't have any, he left.  Didn't even
> > get a chance to show him my screenplay, eh?"
> >  In an effort to stop the illegal aliens, Greenfield erected higher
> > fences, but the liberals scaled them. So he tried installing speakers
> that
> > blare Rush Limbaugh across the fields. "Not real effective," he said.
> "The
> > liberals still got through, and Rush annoyed the cows so much they
> > wouldn't give milk."
> >     Officials are particularly concerned about smugglers who meet
> liberals
> > near the Canadian border, pack them into Volvo station wagons, drive
> them
> > across the border and leave them to fend for themselves.
> >   "A lot of these people are not prepared for rugged conditions," an
> > Ontario border patrolman said. "I found one carload without a drop of
> > drinking Water. They did have a nice little Napa Valley cabernet,
> though."
> >     When liberals are caught, they're sent back across the border, often
> > wailing loudly that they fear retribution from conservatives. Rumors
> have
> > been Circulating about the Bush administration establishing reeducation
> > camps in which liberals will be forced to drink domestic beer and watch
> > NASCAR Races.
> >      In recent days, liberals have turned to sometimes-ingenious ways of
> > crossing the border. Some have taken to posing as senior citizens on bus
> > trips to buy cheap Canadian prescription drugs. After catching a
> > half-dozen young Vegans disguised in powdered wigs, Canadian immigration
> > authorities began Stopping buses and quizzing the supposed
> senior-citizen
> > passengers on Perry Como and Rosemary Clooney hits to prove they were
> > alive in the '50s.    "If they can't identify the accordion player on
> The
> > Lawrence Welk Show, We get suspicious about their age," an official
> said.
> >     Canadian citizens have complained that the illegal immigrants are
> > creating an organic-broccoli shortage and renting all the good Susan
> > Sarandon Movies.     "I feel sorry for American liberals, but the
> Canadian
> > economy just can't support them," an Ottawa resident said. "How many
> > art-history majors does one country need?"
> >
> >
>
> --
> View this message in context:
> http://www.nabble.com/Humor%2C-political%2C-Canadian-style-tf4943326.html#a14179979
> Sent from the Rhodes 22 mailing list archive at Nabble.com.
>
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