[Rhodes22-list] Good for a laugh of two....

[Rik Sandberg]

Elle,

I used to love that show, though I probably would have been in a better 
position to "get it" now ..... what a hoot!!

Rik

elle wrote:

>Thought these should be spread around...
>
>elle
>
>Something to start your day with a laugh.
>
>"Old Hollywood Squares  
>
>If you remember the original Hollywood Squares and its
>comics, this may bring a tear to your eyes. These
>great questions and answers are from the days when "
>Hollywood Squares" game show responses were
>spontaneous and clever, not scripted and (often) dull,
>as they are now. Peter Marshall was the host asking
>the questions, of course. 
> 
>
>
>Q. Do female frogs croak?
>A. Paul Lynde: If you hold their little heads under
>water long enough.
>
>
>Q. If you're going to make a parachute jump, at least
>how high should you be? 
>A. Charley Weaver: Three days of steady drinking
>should do it.
>
>
>Q. True or False, a pea can last as long as 5,000
>years.
>A. George Gobel: Boy, it sure seems that way
>sometimes. 
>
>
>Q. You've been having trouble going to sleep. Are you
>probably a man or a woman?
>A. Don Knotts: That's what's been keeping me awake.
>
>
>Q. According to Cosmopolitan, if you meet a stranger
>at a party and you  think that he is attractive, is it
>okay to come out and ask him if he's married? 
>
>A. Rose Marie: No, wait until morning.
>
>
>Q. Which of your five senses tends to diminish as you
>get older?
>A. Charley Weaver: My sense of decency.
>
>
>Q. In Hawaiian, does it take more than three words to
>say "I Love You"? 
>A. Vincent Price: No, you can say it with a pineapple
>and a twenty.
>
>
>Q. What are "Do It," "I Can Help," and "I Can't Get
>Enough"?
>A. George Gobel: I don't know, but it's coming from
>the next apartment.
>
>
>Q. As you grow older, do you tend to gesture more or
>less with your hands while talking? 
>A. Rose Marie: You ask me one more growing old
>question Peter, and I'll give you a gesture you'll 
>never forget. 
>
>
>Q. Paul, why do Hell's Angels wear leather? 
>A. Paul Lynde: Because chiffon wrinkles too easily.
>
>
>Q. Charley, you've just decided to grow strawberries. 
>Are you going to get any during the first year? 
>A. Charley Weaver: Of course not, I'm too busy growing
>strawberries.
>
>
>Q. In bowling, what's a perfect score?
>A. Rose Marie: Ralph, the pin boy. 
>
>
>Q. It is considered in bad taste to discuss two
>subjects at nudist camps. One is politics, what is the
>other? 
>
>A. Paul Lynde: Tape measures.
>
>
>Q. During a tornado, are you safer in the bedroom or
>in the closet?
>A. Rose Marie: Unfortunately Peter, I'm always safe in
>the bedroom.
>
>
>Q. Can boys join the Camp Fire Girls?
>A. Marty Allen: Only after lights out.
>
>
>Q. When you pat a dog on its head he will wag his
>tail. What will a goose do?
>A. Paul Lynde: Make him bark?
>
>
>Q. If you were pregnant for two years, what would you
>give birth to?
>A. Paul Lynde: Whatever it is, it would never be
>afraid of the dark.
>
>
>Q. According to Ann Landers, is there anything wrong
>with getting into the habit of kissing a lot of
>people? 
>A. Charley Weaver: It got me out of the army.
>
>
>Q. It is the most abused and neglected part of your
>body, what is it?
>A. Paul Lynde: Mine may be abused, but it certainly
>isn't neglected. 
>
>
>Q. Back in the old days, when Great Grandpa put
>horseradish on his head,  what was he trying to do? 
>
>A. George Gobel: Get it in his mouth.
>
>
>Q. Who stays pregnant for a longer period of time,
>your wife or your elephant?
>A. Paul Lynde: Who told you about my elephant?
>
>
>Q. When a couple have a baby, who is responsible for
>its sex? 
>A. Charley Weaver: I'll lend him the car, the rest is
>up to him.
>
>
>Q. Jackie Gleason recently revealed that he firmly
>believes in them and has actually seen them on at
>least two occasions. What are they?
>A. Charley Weaver: His feet.
>
>
>Q. According to Ann Landers, what are two things you
>should never do in bed?
>A. Paul Lynde: Point and laugh.
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>We can't change the angle of the wind....but we can adjust our sails.
>
>
> 
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>