[Rhodes22-list] All puns intended. (Humor)

[kuzzal at comcast.net]

ok it's corny but it's very funny.
thanks for perking up a gloomy friday in connecticut!
maggie k.

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From: R22RumRunner at aol.com 

> A grenade fell onto a kitchen floor in France , resulted in Linoleum 
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> Blownapart. 
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> I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me. 
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> Police were called to a daycare where a 3-year-old was resisting a 
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> rest. 
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> Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He's 
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> all right now. 
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> The roundest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference. 
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> To write with a broken pencil is pointless. 
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> When fish are in schools they sometimes take debate. 
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> The short fortune teller who escaped from prison was a small medium 
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> at large. 
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> A thief who stole a calendar got twelve months 
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> The thief fell and broke his leg in wet cement. He became a hardened 
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> criminal. 
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> Thieves who steal corn from a garden could be charged with stalking. 
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> We'll never run out of math teachers because they always multiply. 
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> When the smog lifts in Los Angeles , U C L A. 
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> The math professor went crazy with the blackboard. He did a number on 
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> it. 
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> The dead batteries were given out free of charge. 
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> If you take a laptop computer for a run you could jog your memory. 
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> A dentist and a manicurist fought tooth and nail. 
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> What's the definition of a will? (It's a dead giveaway) 
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> Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana. 
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> A backward poet writes inverse. 
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> A chicken crossing the road: poultry in motion. 
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> If you don't pay your exorcist you can get repossessed. 
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> With her marriage she got a new name and a dress. 
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> Show me a piano falling down a mine shaft and I'll show you A-flat 
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> miner. 
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> When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds. 
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> The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine was fully recovered. 
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> He broke into song because he couldn't find the key. 
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> A lot of money is tainted: 'Taint yours, and 'taint mine. 
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> A boiled egg is hard to beat. 
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> He had a photographic memory which was never developed. 
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> A plateau is a high form of flattery 
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> Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end. 
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> When you've seen one shopping center you've seen a mall. 
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> When she saw her first strands of gray hair, she thought she'd dye. 
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> Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead to know basis 
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