[Rhodes22-list] Happy Holidays All

[Lowe, Rob]

I went through the trouble to re-format Bob's post to send to some
friend's. Figured I' repost for your enjoyment. - rob





T'was the night before Christmas
I swung on the hook
With snowflakes a'landing
Asleep with my book.

When up on the deck
I heard footsteps and stuff
"I've been boarded!" I thought
and I tried to be tough.

Then down the companionway
hatch came a dude
He was dressed like a nut
and I thought, "I'm so screwed"

But he laughed and he hummed
as he surveyed my junk
So I figured he must be
the resident drunk.

His eyes were lit up 
like a junkie on speed
But he gave me a whole bunch
of stuff that I need.

Like rum and cigars
and new charts and a dinghy
And some kind of fancy
electrical thingy.

I knew it was stolen
but I wasn't telling
I just hoped he was giving
and wasn't just selling.

And I poured him a grog
which he downed with a wink
Then I poured one for me
(Lord I needed a drink!).

Then he staggered above
to the dark snowy night
As I peeked I beheld
an incredible sight.

Eight tiny dolphins
and a beautiful sleigh
And the dude hopped aboard
and prepared to make way.

The dolphins were ready
to power the sled
But the guy raised a genny
and mains'l instead.

With a burp and a chuckle
he gathered the breeze
And called to the dolphins,
now swimming with ease.

"Hey Stalker and FEMA
and Cancer and Nixon!
Or Stinky and Pepper Spray,
Mason, and Dixon!

Or whatever your names are,
you cute little fishes,
Here's to every last sailor,
my best Christmas wishes!"

As he sailed away
leaving a wobbly wake
I hoped he had not many
stops left to make.

He got close to shore
and he soon was aground
But the dolphins proceeded
to pull him around.


And I heard him exclaim
as he sailed out of sight
"Killer whales!! ...I'm just kidding,
don't be so uptight!"