[Rhodes22-list] bad jokes home town humor

[John Shulick]

Here's a few

 If your Dairy Queen is closed from September through May, 
  you live in Pittsburgh. 
   
  If someone in a Home Depot store offers you assistance and they don't work
there, 
  you live in Pittsburgh 
   
  If you've worn shorts and a parka at the same time, 
  you live in Pittsburgh 
   
  If you've had a lengthy telephone conversation with someone 
  who dialed a wrong number, you live in Pittsburgh 
   
  If an old chair left in a cleared parking spot on a snowy street looks to
you like a declaration of the sovereignty over that spot, you live in
Pittsburgh 
   
 If 'Jumbo' doesn't refer to a fictional elephant but means a kind of
luncheon meat, 
  you live in Pittsburgh 
   
  If you can both 'go up street' or 'dawntawn', 
  you live in Pittsburgh 
   
  If Versailles is pronounced as if it is spelled 'ver-sales', you live in
Pittsburgh 
  
If 'Vacation' means going anywhere south of the Mason Dixon Line for the
weekend, 
  you live in Pittsburgh 
      
  If you measure distance in hours, you live in Pittsburgh 
   
  If you have switched from 'heat' to 'A/C' in the same day and back again 
  you live in Pittsburgh 
   
  If someone offers you an 'ahrn' and you know to drink it, 
  you live in Pittsburgh 
   
  If you can drive 75 mph through 2 feet of snow 
  during a raging blizzard without flinching, you live in Pittsburgh 
   
  If you carry jumper cables in your car and your wife knows how to use
them, 
  you live in Pittsburgh 
   
  If you design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit, 
  you live in Pittsburgh 
   
  If the speed limit on the highway is 55 mph --you're going 80 and
everybody is passing you, 
  you live in Pittsburgh 
   
  If driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with
snow, 
  you live in Pittsburgh 
   
  If you know all 4 seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter and road
construction, 
  you live in Pittsburgh 
   
  If you have more miles on your snow blower than your car, 
  you live in Pittsburgh 
   
  If you find 10 degrees 'a little chilly', you live in Pittsburgh 
   
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