[Rhodes22-list] Was PFD - Now Ark Building

[Brad Haslett]

The Lord spoke to Noah   The Lord spoke to Noah and said, ''In six months I
am going to make it rain until the whole world is covered with water and all
the evil things are destroyed. But, I want to save a few good people and two
of every living thing on the planet. I am ordering you to build an ark.''
And, in a flash of lightning, he delivered the specifications for the ark.
''OK,'' Noah said, trembling with fear and fumbling with the blueprints,
''I'm your man.''

Six months passed, the sky began to cloud up, and the rain began to fall in
torrents. The Lord looked down and saw Noah sitting in his yard, weeping,
and there was no ark.

''Noah!'' shouted the Lord, ''Where is My ark?'' A lightning bolt crashed
into the ground right beside Noah.

''Lord, please forgive me!'' begged Noah. ''I did my best, but there were
some big problems. First, I had to get a building permit for the ark's
construction, but Your plans did not meet their code. So, I had to hire an
engineer to redo the plans, only to get into a long argument with him about
whether to include a sprinkler system.

''My neighbors objected, claiming that I was violating zoning ordinances by
building the ark in my front yard, so I had to get a variance from the city
planning board.

Then, I had a big problem getting enough wood for the ark, because there was
a ban on cutting trees to save the spotted owl. I tried to convince the
environmentalists and the U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service that I needed the
wood to save the owls, but they wouldn't let me catch them, so no owls.

''Next, I started gathering up the animals but got sued by an animal rights
group that objected to me taking along only two of each kind.

''Just when the suit got dismissed, the EPA notified me that I couldn't
complete the ark without filling out an environmental impact statement on
Your proposed flood. They didn't take kindly to the idea that they had no
jurisdiction over the Supreme Being. Then, the Corps of Engineers wanted a
map of the proposed flood plan. I sent them a globe!

''Right now, I'm still trying to resolve a complaint with the Equal
Opportunities Commission over how many minorities I'm supposed to hire. The
IRS has seized all my assets claiming that I am trying to leave the country,
and I just got a notice from the state that I owe some kind of use tax.
Really, I don't think I can finish the ark in less than five years.''

With that, the sky cleared, the sun began to shine, and a rainbow arched
across the sky. Noah looked up and smiled. ''You mean you are not going to
destroy the world?'' he asked hopefully.

''No,'' said the Lord. ''The government already has.''

On Feb 17, 2008 9:34 PM, Chris Geankoplis <napoli68 at charter.net> wrote:

> Gee Bob,
>        What kind of question is that.  Just think if Noah had gone and
> asked that.
>
> Chris G
> ----- Original Message -----
> From: "Robert Skinner" <robert at squirrelhaven.com>
> To: "The Rhodes 22 mail list" <rhodes22-list at rhodes22.org>
> Sent: Saturday, February 16, 2008 4:00 PM
> Subject: Re: [Rhodes22-list] Joe Babb look at this inflatable PFD's
> theymust
> have heard you!
>
>
> > Is that Egyptian, Royal Egyptian, English or Roman cubits?
> > /Robert
> >
> > Jack Chirch wrote:
> > >
> > > Joe -
> > >
> > > A quot is 0.15772 cubits
> > >
> > > -----Original Message-----
> > > From: rhodes22-list-bounces at rhodes22.org
> > > [mailto:rhodes22-list-bounces at rhodes22.org] On Behalf Of Joe Babb
> > > Sent: Saturday, February 16, 2008 12:22 PM
> > > To: rhodes22-list at rhodes22.org
> > > Subject: [Rhodes22-list] Joe Babb look at this inflatable PFD's they
> must
> > > have heard you!
> > >
> > > Ed,
> > > Thanks for the link.  I'll email them to find out whether they use
> > > hydrostatic or lozenge type activation.  The ad didn't specify.  Do
> you
> know
> > > what a quot is?  The ad specified "chest size between 30quot; and
> 52quot".
> > >
> > > Best Regards,
> > > Joe
> > > __________________________________________________
> > > Use Rhodes22-list at rhodes22.org, Help? www.rhodes22.org/list
> > >
> > > No virus found in this incoming message.
> > > Checked by AVG Free Edition.
> > > Version: 7.5.516 / Virus Database: 269.20.6/1282 - Release Date:
> 2/15/2008
> > > 7:08 PM
> > >
> > >
> > > No virus found in this outgoing message.
> > > Checked by AVG Free Edition.
> > > Version: 7.5.516 / Virus Database: 269.20.6/1282 - Release Date:
> 2/15/2008
> > > 7:08 PM
> > >
> > >
> > > __________________________________________________
> > > Use Rhodes22-list at rhodes22.org, Help? www.rhodes22.org/list
> >
> > --
> > Robert Skinner  "Squirrel Haven"
> > Gorham, Maine         04038-1331
> > s/v "Little Dipper" & "Edith P."
> > __________________________________________________
> > Use Rhodes22-list at rhodes22.org, Help? www.rhodes22.org/list
>
> __________________________________________________
> Use Rhodes22-list at rhodes22.org, Help? www.rhodes22.org/list
>