[Rhodes22-list] Fwd: Are you a Northerner or a Southerner?

[elle]

OK, folks..looks like a bit of levity is in order
again....Hope you enjoy this one & the next one...

elle

> The North and The South 
> 
> 
> The North has Bloomingdale's, the South has Dollar
> General. 
> 
> The North has coffee houses, the South has Waffle
> Houses. 
> 
> The North has dating services, the South has family
> reunions. 
> 
> The North has switchblade knives, the South has Lee
> Press-on Nails. 
> 
> The North has double last names, the South has
> double
> first names. 
> 
> The North has Indy car races, the South has stock
> car
> races. 
> 
> The North has Cream of Wheat, the South has grits. 
> 
> The North has green salads, the South has collard
> greens. 
> 
> The North has lobsters, the South has crawfish. 
> 
> The No rth has the rust belt, the South has the
> Bible
> Belt. 
> 
> FOR NORTHERNERS MOVING SOUTH . . . 
> 
> In the South: If you run your car into a ditch,
> don't
> panic. Four men in 
> a four-wheel drive pickup truck with a tow chain
> will
> be along shortly. 
> Don't try to help them, just stay out of their way.
> This is what they live for. 
> 
> Don't be surprised to find movie rentals and bait in
> the same store....do not buy food at this store. 
> 
> Remember, "Y'all" is singular, "all y 'all" is
> plural,
> and "all y'all's" is 
> plural possessive 
> 
> Get used to hearing "You ain't from round here, are
> ya?" 
> 
> Save all manner of bacon grease. You will be
> instructed later on how to 
> use it. 
> 
> Don't be worried at not understanding what people
> are
> saying. They can't understand you either. 
> 
> The first Southern statement to creep into a
> transplanted Northerner's vocabulary is the
> adjective
> "big'ol," as in "big'ol" truck or "big'ol" boy. Most
> Northerners begin their Southern-influenced dialect
> this way. All of them are in denial about it. 
> 
> The proper pronunciation you learned in school is no
> longer proper! 
> 
> Be advised that "He needed killin" is a valid
> defense
> here. 
> 
> If you hear a Southerner exclaim, "Hey, y'all watch
> this," you should stay out of the way. These are
> likely to be the last words he'll ever say. 
> 
> If there is the prediction of the slightest chance
> of
> even the smallest 
> accumulation of snow, your presence is required at
> the
> local grocery store. It doesn't matter whether you
> need anything or not. You just have to go there. 
> 
> Do not be surprised to find that 10-year olds own
> their own shotguns, they are proficient marksmen,
> and
> their Mammas taught them how to aim. 
> 
> In the South, we have found that the best way to
> grow
> a lush green lawn is to pour gravel on it and call
> it
> a driveway.
> 
> AND REMEMBER: If you do settle in the South and bear
> children, don't 
> think we will accept them as Southerners. After all,
> if the cat had kittens in 
> the oven, we wouldn't call 'em biscuits. 
> 
> 
> 
> Send this to four people that ain't related to you,
> and I reckon your life will turn into a country
> music
> song 'fore you know 
> 
>   
> 
> 
> HSA 8
> You don't get much--but it's free!
> 
> 
>      
>
____________________________________________________________________________________
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>
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We can't change the angle of the wind....but we can adjust our sails.

 1992 Rhodes 22   Recyc '06  "WaterMusic"   (Lady in Red)


      ____________________________________________________________________________________
Looking for last minute shopping deals?  
Find them fast with Yahoo! Search.  http://tools.search.yahoo.com/newsearch/category.php?category=shopping