[Rhodes22-list] Getting Old Humor

[pdgrand at nospam.wmis.net]

---------------------------- Original Message ----------------------------
Subject: Getting Old Humor
From:    "Paul Grandholm" <paul.grandholm at grandpower.com>
Date:    Fri, November 14, 2008 9:06 am
To:      "pdgrand at wmis.net" <pdgrand at wmis.net>
--------------------------------------------------------------------------


A distraught
senior citizen
phoned her
doctor's office.
'Is it
true,' she wanted to know,
'that the medication
you
prescribed has to be taken
for the rest of my
life?'

'Yes,
I'm afraid so,' the doctor told her.

There was a moment of
silence
before the senior
lady replied,
'I'm wondering, then,
Just how serious is my
condition
because this prescription is marked
'NO
REFILLS'.'

***********************
An older
gentleman was
on the
operating table
awaiting
surgery
and he insisted
that his son,
a renowned
surgeon,
perform the
operation.
As he was
About to get the anesthesia,
he asked to speak to his
son.
'Yes, Dad,
what is it? '
'Don't be nervous, son;
do your best
and just remember,
if it doesn't go well,
if something happens to
me,
your mother
is going to come and
live with you and your
wife....'

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Aging:

Eventually
you will reach a point
when you stop lying about your
age
and start bragging
about it.

---------------------------------

The older we
get,
the fewer
things
seem worth waiting
in line for.

---------------------------------
Some
people
try to turn back
their odometers.
Not
me!
I want people to know 'why'
I look this way.
I've traveled a long
way
and some of the roads
weren't paved.

********************

When you are
dissatisfied
and would
like to go back to youth,
think of
Algebra.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You know you
are getting old when
everything either dries up or
leaks.

-------------------------------

One of the
many things
no one tells
you about aging
is that
it is such a nice change
from being
young.

<><><><><><><><><>

Ah, being young
is beautiful,
but being
old is comfortable.

<><><><><><><><><>

First you forget
names,
then you forget faces.
Then you forget to pull up
your zipper.
It's worse
when
you forget to pull
it down.

---------------------------------

Long ago
when men cursed
and beat the ground with
sticks,
it was called
witchcraft...

Today, it's
called golf.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Two old guys
are pushing their carts around
Sears
when they
collide.

The first old guy says to the
second guy,
'Sorry about
that. I'm looking for my wife,
and I guess I wasn't paying
attention
to where I was
going.'

The second old guy says,
'That's OK, it's a
coincidence.
I'm looking
for my wife, too.
I can't find her and I'm getting a little
desperate.'

The first old guy says,
'Well,
maybe I can help
you find her.
What does she look like?'

' The second old guy says,
'Well, she is 27 yrs old,
tall,
with red hair,
blue eyes,
long legs,
and is wearing short
shorts.
What does your
wife look like?'

To
which the first old guy says, 'Doesn't matter,
--- let's look for
yours.'

*********************

Lord,
Keep Your arm around my
shoulder,
and, Your hand
over my
Mouth!




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