[Rhodes22-list] POLITICAL Obama's Magic

[Andrew Collins]

On Fri, Oct 10, 2008 at 11:39 AM, MichaelT <mticse at gmail.com> wrote:

>
> While we're at it...I thought I'd add to the mix from today's WSJ coped
> below
>
> Michael
> s/v Silversides
>
> Obama's Magic
> By Kimberley Strassel
>
> And now, America, we introduce the Great Obama! The world's most gifted
> political magician! A thing of wonder. A thing of awe. Just watch him defy
> politics, economics, even gravity! (And hold your applause until the end,
> please.)
>
> To kick off our show tonight, Mr. Obama will give 95% of American working
> families a tax cut, even though 40% of Americans today don't pay income
> taxes! How can our star enact such mathemagic? How can he "cut" zero?
> Abracadabra! It's called a "refundable tax credit." It involves the federal
> government taking money from those who do pay taxes, and writing checks to
> those who don't. Yes, yes, in the real world this is known as "welfare,"
> but
> please try not to ruin the show.
>
> For his next trick, the Great Obama will jumpstart the economy, and he'll
> do
> it by raising taxes on the very businesses that are today adrift in a
> financial tsunami! That will include all those among the top 1% of
> taxpayers
> who are in fact small-business owners, and the nation's biggest employers
> who currently pay some of the highest corporate tax rates in the developed
> world. Mr. Obama will, with a flick of his fingers, show them how to create
> more jobs with less money. It's simple, really. He has a wand.
>
>  Next up, Mr. Obama will re-regulate the economy, with no ill effects
> whatsoever! You may have heard that for the past 40 years most politicians
> believed deregulation was good for the U.S. economy. You might have even
> heard that much of today's financial mess tracks to loose money policy, or
> Fannie and Freddie excesses. Our magician will show the fault was instead
> with our failure to clamp down on innovation and risk-taking, and will fix
> this with new, all-encompassing rules. Presto!
>
> Did someone in the audience just shout "Sarbanes Oxley?" Usher, can you
> remove that man? Thank you. Mr. Obama will now demonstrate how he gives
> Americans the "choice" of a "voluntary" government health plan, designed in
> such a way as to crowd out the private market and eliminate all other
> choice! Don't worry people: You won't have to join, until you do. Mr. Obama
> will follow this with a demonstration of how his plan will differ from our
> failing Medicare program. Oops, sorry, folks. The Great Obama just reminded
> me it is time for an intermission. Maybe we'll get to that marvel later.
>
> We're back now. And just watch the Great Obama perform a feat never yet
> managed in all history. He will create that enormous new government health
> program, spend billions to transform our energy economy, provide financial
> assistance to former Soviet satellites, invest in infrastructure, increase
> education spending, provide job training assistance, and give 95% of
> Americans a tax (ahem) cut -- all without raising the deficit a single
> penny! And he'll do it in the middle of a financial crisis. And with
> falling
> tax revenues! Voila!
>
> Moving along to a little ventriloquism. Study his mouth carefully, folks:
> It
> looks like he's saying "I'll stop the special interests," when in fact the
> words coming out are "Welcome to Washington, friends!" Wind and solar
> companies, ethanol makers, tort lawyers, unions, community organizers --
> all
> are welcome to feed at the public trough and to request special favors.
> From
> now on "special interests" will only refer to universally despised, if
> utterly crucial, economic players. Say, oil companies. Hocus Pocus!
>
> And for tonight's finale, the Great Obama will uphold America's "moral"
> obligation to "stop genocide" by abandoning Iraq! While teleported to the
> region, he will simultaneously convince Iranian leaders to peacefully
> abandon their nuclear pursuits (even as he does not sit down with them),
> fix
> Afghanistan with a strategy that does not resemble the Iraqi surge, and
> (drumroll!) pull Osama bin Laden out of his hat!
>
> Tada!
>
> You can clap now. (Applause. Cheers.) We'd like to thank a few people in
> the
> audience. Namely, Republican presidential nominee John McCain, who has so
> admirably restrained himself from running up on stage to debunk any of
> these
> illusions and spoil everyone's fun.
>
> We know he's in a bit of a box, having initially blamed today's financial
> crisis on corporate "greed," and thus made it that much harder to call for
> a
> corporate tax cut, or warn against excessive regulation. Still, there were
> some pretty big openings up here this evening, and he let them alone! We'd
> also like to thank Mr. McCain for keeping all the focus on himself these
> past weeks. It has helped the Great Obama to just get on with the show.
>
> As for that show, we'd love to invite you all back for next week's
> performance, when the Great Obama will thrill with new, amazing exploits.
> He
> will respect your Second Amendment rights even as he regulates firearms! He
> will renegotiate Nafta, even as he supports free trade! He will.
>
> Ms. Strassel is a member of The Wall Street Journal's editorial board.
> --
> View this message in context:
> http://www.nabble.com/Obama%27s-Magic-tp19920746p19920746.html
> Sent from the Rhodes 22 mailing list archive at Nabble.com.
>
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