[Rhodes22-list] Financial Dictionary

[Hank]

Financial Dictionary


      CEO --Chief Embezzlement Officer.

      CFO-- Corporate Fraud Officer.

      BULL MARKET -- A random market movement causing an investor to mistake

himself for a financial genius.

      BEAR MARKET -- A 6 to 18 month period when the kids get no allowance,
the wife gets no jewelry, and the husband gets no sex.

      VALUE INVESTING -- The art of buying low and selling lower.

      P/E RATIO -- The percentage of investors wetting their pants as the
market keeps crashing.

      BROKER -- What my broker has made me.

      STANDARD & POOR -- Your life in a nutshell.

      STOCK ANALYST -- Idiot who just downgraded your stock.

      STOCK SPLIT -- When your ex-wife and her lawyer split your assets
equally between themselves.

      FINANCIAL PLANNER -- A guy whose phone has been disconnected.

      MARKET CORRECTION -- The day after you buy stocks.

      CASH FLOW -- The movement your money makes as it disappears down the
toilet.

      YAHOO -- What you yell after selling it to some poor sucker for $240
per share.

      WINDOWS -- What you jump out of when you're the sucker who bought
Yahoo @ $240 per share.

      INSTITUTIONAL INVESTOR -- Past year investor who's now locked up in a
nuthouse.

      PROFIT -- An archaic word no longer in use.

- Hank