[Rhodes22-list] jokes

[michael meltzer]

Good bye Jb
-mjm

-----Original Message-----
From: rhodes22-list-bounces at rhodes22.org
[mailto:rhodes22-list-bounces at rhodes22.org] On Behalf Of JbTek
Sent: Tuesday, April 28, 2009 12:24 PM
To: The Rhodes 22 Email List
Subject: Re: [Rhodes22-list] jokes

mjm,

you think these are funny?
no wonder your wife left you.
Jb
----- Original Message ----- 
From: "michael meltzer" <mjm at michaelmeltzer.com>
To: "'The Rhodes 22 Email List'" <rhodes22-list at rhodes22.org>
Sent: Tuesday, April 28, 2009 5:40 AM
Subject: [Rhodes22-list] jokes


> A small zoo in South Carolina obtained a very rare species of gorilla.
>
>
>
> Within a few weeks the gorilla, a female, became very difficult to handle.
> Upon examination, the veterinarian determined the problem.
>
>
>
> The gorilla was in heat. To make matters worse, there was no male gorilla
> available.
>
>
>
> Thinking about their problem, the Zoo Keeper thought of Bobby Lee Walton,
a
> redneck part-time worker responsible for cleaning the animal cages. Bobby
> Lee, like most rednecks, had little sense but possessed ample ability to
> satisfy a female of any species.
>
>
>
> The Zoo Keeper thought they might have a solution. Bobby Lee was
approached
> with a proposition. Would he be willing to mate with the gorilla for
> $500.00?
>
>
>
> Bobby Lee showed some interest, but said he would have to think the matter
> over carefully. The following day, he announced that he would accept their
> offer, but only under five conditions:
>
>
>
> "First," Bobby Lee said, "I ain't gonna kiss her on the lips." The Keeper
> quickly agreed to this condition.
>
>
>
> "Second," he said, "she must wear a 'Dale Earnhardt Forever' T-Shirt." The
> keeper again readily agreed to this condition.
>
>
>
> "Third," he said, "you can't never tell no one about this." The keeper
again
> readily agreed to this condition.
>
>
>
> "Fourth," Bobby Lee said, "I want all the children raised Southern
Baptist."
> Once again it was agreed.
>
>
>
> "And last," Bobby Lee said, 'I'll need a couple of weeks to come up with
the
> $500.00."
>
>
>
>
>
> --
>
> A man was sitting on a blanket at the beach. He had no arms and no legs.
>
>
>
> Three women were walking past and felt sorry for the poor man.
>
>
>
> The first woman said 'Have you ever had a hug?' The man said 'No,' so she
> gave him a hug and walked on.
>
>
>
> The second woman said, 'Have you ever had a kiss?' The man said, 'No,' so
> she gave him a kiss and walked on.
>
>
>
> The third woman came to him and said, 'Have you ever been f#cked?' The
> fellow's eyes lit up and with a big grin he said, 'No.'
>
>
>
> She said, 'You will be when the tide comes in.'
>
>
>
>
>
> --
>
> A man returns home a day early from a business trip. It's after midnight.
> While en route home he asks the cabby if he would be a witness.
>
>
>
> The man suspects his wife is having an affair and he wants to catch her in
> the act. For $100, the cabby agrees.
>
>
>
> Quietly arriving home, the husband and cabby tip toe into the bedroom..
The
> husband switches on the lights, yanks the blanket back and there is his
wife
> in bed with another man!
>
>
>
> The husband puts a gun to the naked man's head.
>
>
>
> The wife shouts, 'Don't do it! I lied when I told you I inherited money.
HE
> paid for the Corvette I gave you. HE paid for our new cabin cruiser. HE
paid
> for your season Pittsburgh Steelers tickets. HE paid for our house at the
> lake. HE paid for our country club membership, and HE even pays the
monthly
> dues!'
>
>
>
> Shaking his head from side-to-side, the husband lowers the gun. He looks
> over at the cabby and says, 'What would you do?
>
>
>
> The cabby replies, 'I'd cover his ass with that blanket before he catches
> cold.'
>
>
>
>
>
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