[Rhodes22-list] [Humor] Top 7 Idiots of 2008

[John Lock]

>> Number One Idiot of 2008
>>
>> I am a medical student currently doing a rotation in toxicology at  
>> the poison control center.   Today, this woman called in very upset  
>> because she caught her little daughter eating ants.  I quickly  
>> reassured her that the ants are not harmful and there would be no  
>> need to bring her daughter into the hospital. She calmed down and  
>> at the end of the conversation happened to mention that she gave  
>> her daughter some ant poison to eat in order to kill the ants.
>>
>> I told her that she better bring her daughter in to the emergency  
>> room right away.
>>
>> Here's your sign, lady. Wear it with pride.
>>
>> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>> Number Two Idiot of 2008
>>
>> Early this year, some Boeing employees on the airfield decided to  
>> steal a life raft from one of the 747s. They were successful in  
>> getting it out of the plane and home. Shortly after they took it  
>> for a float the river, they noticed a Coast Guard helicopter coming  
>> toward them. It turned out that the chopper was homing in on the  
>> emergency locater beacon that activated when t he raft was  
>> inflated.  They are no longer employed at Boeing.
>>
>> Here's your sign, guys. Don't get it wet; the paint might run.
>>
>> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~
>> Number Three Idiot of 2008
>>
>> A man, wanting to rob a downtown Bank of America, walked into the  
>> Branch and wrote this, 'Put all your muny in this bag.'  While  
>> standing in line, waiting to give his note to the tell er, he began  
>> to worry that someone had seen him write the note and might call  
>> the police before he reached the teller's window.  So he left the  
>> Bank of America and crossed the street to the Wells Fargo Bank.  
>> After waiting a few minutes in line, he handed his note to the  
>> Wells Fargo teller. She read it and, surmising from his spelling  
>> errors th at he wasn't the brightest light in the harbor, told him  
>> that she could not accept his stickup note because it was written  
>> on a Bank of America deposit slip and that he would either have to  
>> fill out a Wells Fargo deposit slip or go back to Bank of America.
>>
>> Looking somewhat defeated, the man said, 'OK' and left. He was  
>> arrested a few minutes later, as he was waiting in line back at  
>> Bank of America.
>>
>> Don't bother with this guy's sign. He probably couldn't read it  
>> anyway.
>>
>> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>> Number Four Idiot of 2008
>>
>> A guy walked into a little corner store with a shotgun and demanded  
>> all of the cash from the cash drawer.  After the cashier put the  
>> cash in a bag, the robber saw a b ottle of Scotch that he wanted  
>> behind the counter on the shelf.  He told the cashier to put it in  
>> the bag as well, but the cashier refused and said, 'Because I don't  
>> believe you are over 21.'  The robber said he was, but the clerk  
>> still refused to give it to him because she didn't believe him. At  
>> this point, the robber took his driver's license out of his wallet  
>> and gave it to the clerk.
>>
>> The clerk looked it over and agreed that the man was in fact over  
>> 21 and she put the Scotch in the bag.  The robber then ran from the  
>> store with his loot. The cashier promptly called the police and  
>> gave the name and address of the robber that he got off the  
>> license.  They arrested the robber two hours later.
>>
>> This guy definitely needs a sign.
>>
>>  ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>> Idiot Number Five of 2008
>>
>> A pair of  Michigan  robbers entered a record shop nervously waving  
>> revolvers.
>>
>> The first one shouted, 'Nobody move!' When his partner moved, the  
>> startled first bandit shot him.
>>
>> This guy doesn't even deserve a sign
>>
>>  ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>> Idiot Number Six of 2008
>>
>> Arkansas  : Seems this guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He  
>> decided that he'd just throw a cinder block through a liquor store  
>> window, grab some booze, and run.
>>
>> So he lifted the cinder block and heaved it over his head at the  
>> window. The cinder block bounced back knocking him unconscious. It  
>> seems the liquor store window was made of Plexi-Glass.  The whole  
>> event was caught on video tape.
>>
>> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>> Idiot Number Seven of 2008
>>
>> I live in a semi-rural area ( Weyauwega ,  Wisconsin ).  We  
>> recently had a new neighbor call the local township administrative  
>> office to request the removal of the Deer Crossing sign on our road.
>>
>> The reason:  'Too many deer are being hit by cars out here!  -  I  
>> don't think this is a good place for them to be crossing anymore.'
>>
>> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>>
>> STAY ALERT! They walk among us... and they REPRODUCE...!!!


Cheers!
John Lock
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s/v Pandion - '79 Rhodes 22
Lake Sinclair, GA
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