[Rhodes22-list] jokes

[michael meltzer]

A man wanted to get married. He was having trouble choosing among three
likely candidates. He gives each woman a present of £5,000 and watches to
see what they do with the money.

 

The first does a total makeover. She goes to a fancy beauty salon, gets her
hair done, new makeup;  buys several new outfits and dresses up very nicely
for the man. She tells him that she has done this to be more attractive for
him because she loves him so much.

 

The man was impressed.

 

The second goes shopping to buy the man gifts. She gets him a new set of
golf clubs, some new gizmos for his computer, and some expensive clothes. As
she presents these gifts, she tells him that she has spent all the money on
him because she loves him so much.

 

Again, the man is impressed.

 

The third invests the money in the stock market. She earns several times the
£5,000. She gives him back his £5,000 and reinvests the remainder in a joint
account. She tells him that she wants to save for their future because she
loves him so much.

 

Obviously, the man was impressed.

 

The man thought for a long time about what each woman had done with the
money he'd given her.

 

Then...

 


 he married the one with the biggest tits.

 

 

--

Spanish teacher was explaining to her class that in Spanish, unlike English,
nouns are designated as either masculine or feminine. "House" for instance,
is feminine: "la casa." "Pencil," however, is masculine: "el lapiz."

 

A student asked, "What gender is 'computer'?"

 

Instead of giving the answer, the teacher split the class into two groups,
male and female, and asked them to decide for themselves whether "computer"
should be a masculine or a feminine noun. Each group was asked to give four
reasons for its recommendation.

 

The men's group decided that "computer" should definitely be of the feminine
gender ("la computadora") because:

1. No one but their creator understands their internal logic.

2. The native language they use to communicate with other computers is
incomprehensible to everyone else.

3. Even the smallest mistakes are stored in long term memory for possible
later retrieval; and

4. As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half
your paycheck on accessories for it.

 

The women's group, however, concluded that computers should be masculine
("el computador") because:

1. In order to do anything with them, you have to turn them on.

2. They have a lot of data but still can't think for themselves.

3. They are supposed to help you solve problems, but half the time, they ARE
the problem; and

4. As soon as you commit to one, you realize that if you had waited a little
longer, you could have gotten a better model.

 

The women won.

 

 

[]

 

 

 

 

 <http://groups.yahoo.com/group/funonthenet/join/>  Signs of the times

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