[Rhodes22-list] jokes

[Michael D. Weisner]

Jay,

What joke? (2 blondes, 1 redhead, 2 brunettes)

Mike
s/v Shanghai'd Summer ('81)
Nissequogue River, NY

From: "JbTek" <j.bulfer at jbtek.com> Sent: Thursday, January 29, 2009 1:10 PM
> mjm
> you know what....I'm blonde, my wifes blonde & my kids are blond.
> I find that joke very offensive.
> Jb
>
> ----- Original Message ----- 
> From: "michael meltzer" <mjm at michaelmeltzer.com>
> To: "'The Rhodes 22 Email List'" <rhodes22-list at rhodes22.org>
> Sent: Wednesday, January 28, 2009 4:02 PM
> Subject: [Rhodes22-list] jokes
>
>
>> Degrees of Blonde
>>
>>
>>
>> FIRST DEGREE
>>
>> A married couple were asleep when the phone rang at 2 in the morning. The
>> very blonde wife picked up the phone, listened a moment and said 'How
> should
>> I know, that's 200 miles from here!' and hung up.
>>
>>
>>
>> The husband said, 'Who was that?'
>>
>>
>>
>> The wife answered, 'I don't know, some woman wanting to know if the coast
> is
>> clear.'
>>
>>
>>
>> SECOND DEGREE
>>
>> Two blondes are walking down the street. One notices a compact on the
>> sidewalk and leans down to pick it up. She opens it, looks in the mirror
> and
>> says, 'Hmm, this person looks familiar.'
>>
>>
>>
>> The second blonde says, 'Here, let me see!'
>>
>>
>>
>> So, the first blonde hands her the compact.
>>
>>
>>
>> The second blonde looks in the mirror and says, 'You dummy, it's me!'
>>
>>
>>
>> THIRD DEGREE
>>
>> A blonde suspects her boyfriend of cheating on her, so she goes out and
> buys
>> a gun. She goes to his apartment unexpectedly and when she opens the door
>> she finds him in the arms of a redhead.
>>
>>
>>
>> Well, the blonde is really angry. She opens her purse to take out the 
>> gun,
>> and as she does so, she is overcome with grief. She takes the gun and 
>> puts
>> it to her head.
>>
>>
>>
>> The boyfriend yells, 'No, honey, don't do it!!!'
>>
>>
>>
>> The blonde replies, 'Shut up, you're next!'
>>
>>
>>
>> FOURTH DEGREE
>>
>> A blonde was bragging about her knowledge of state capitals. She proudly
>> says, 'Go ahead, ask me, ... I know 'em all.'
>>
>>
>>
>> A friend says, 'OK, what's the capital of Wisconsin ?'
>>
>>
>>
>> The blonde replies, 'Oh, that's easy . it's W.'
>>
>>
>>
>> FIFTH DEGREE
>>
>> Q: What did the blonde ask her doctor when he told her she was pregnant?
>>
>> A: 'Is it mine?'
>>
>>
>>
>> SIXTH DEGREE
>>
>> Bambi, a blonde in her fourth year as a UCLA Freshman, sat in her US
>> Government class. The professor asked Bambi if she knew what Roe vs. Wade
>> was about.
>>
>>
>>
>> Bambi pondered the question; then, finally, said, 'That was the decision
>> George Washington had to make before he crossed the Delaware '
>>
>>
>>
>> SEVENTH DEGREE
>>
>> Returning home from work, a blonde was shocked to find her house 
>> ransacked
>> and burglarized. She telephoned the police at once and reported the 
>> crime.
>>
>>
>>
>> The police dispatcher broadcast the call on the radio, and a K-9 unit,
>> patrolling nearby, was the first to respond.
>>
>>
>>
>> As the K-9 officer approached the house with his dog on a leash, the
> blonde
>> ran out on the porch, shuddered at the sight of the cop and his dog, then
>> sat down on the steps. Putting her face in her hands, she moaned, 'I come
>> home to find all my possessions stolen. I call the police for help, and
> what
>> do they do? They send me a BLIND policeman!'
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>> --
>>
>> One day an employee sends a letter to his boss asking for an increase in
> his
>> salary!
>>
>>
>>
>> Dear Bo$$
>>
>>
>>
>> In thi$ life, we all need $ome thing mo$t de$perately. I think you $hould
> be
>> under$tanding of the need$ of u$ worker$ who have given $o much $upport
>> including $weat and $ervice to your company.
>>
>> I am $ure you will gue$$ what I mean and re$pond $oon.
>>
>>
>>
>> Your$ $incerely,
>>
>>
>>
>> Norman $oh
>>
>>
>>
>> The next day, the employee received this letter of reply:
>>
>>
>>
>> Dear NOrman,
>>
>>
>>
>> I kNOw you have been working very hard. NOwadays, NOthing much has
> changed.
>> You must have NOticed that our company is NOt doing NOticeably well as
> yet.
>>
>>
>>
>> NOw the newspaper are saying the world`s leading ecoNOmists are NOt sure
> if
>> the United States may go into aNOther recession. After the NOvember
>> presidential elections things may turn bad.
>>
>>
>>
>> I have NOthing more to add NOw. You kNOw what I mean.
>>
>>
>>
>> Yours truly,
>>
>>
>>
>> Ting
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>> --
>>
>> Grandpa is grocery shopping with his toddler grandson, who sits in the
> cart
>> and cries hysterically.
>>
>>
>>
>> As the elderly man pushes the cart through the aisles, selecting his
> items,
>> shoppers hear him speaking in a soft voice: 'We are almost done, Albert;
> try
>> not to cry, Albert. Life will get better Albert, I promise you.'
>>
>>
>>
>> The child screams louder, feet kicking, arms flailing.
>>
>>
>>
>> They reach the checkout counter. 'Try not to be upset, Albert,' says the
> old
>> man. 'We will be home soon, Albert. All will be well.'
>>
>>
>>
>> He pays the cashier, while the toddler thrashes and screams.
>>
>>
>>
>> 'There, there, Albert,' mutters the man. 'Try to control yourself.'
>>
>>
>>
>> The woman behind him in line feels compelled to comment. Sir, I think 
>> it's
>> wonderful how sweet and patient you're being to your little grandson
>> Albert,' she says.
>>
>>
>>
>> The old gentleman replies. 'My grandson's name is John. I'm Albert.'
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>> --
>>
>>
>>
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