[Rhodes22-list] Pondersimas (Humor)

[Claude Cox]

good chuckles, Rummy.  thanks, i needed them.
claude
----- Original Message ----- 
From: <R22RumRunner at aol.com>
To: <rhodes22-list at rhodes22.org>
Sent: Thursday, March 19, 2009 8:05 AM
Subject: [Rhodes22-list] Pondersimas (Humor)


>
>>
>>
>>I used to eat a lot of natural foods until I  learned that most people die
>>of natural  causes.
>>
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>>
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>>
>>Gardening Rule: When  weeding, the best way to make sure you are removing 
>>a
>>weed and not a  valuable plant is to pull on it. If it comes out of the
>>ground easily,  it is a valuable plant.
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>The  easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a
>>replacement.
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>Never take  life seriously Nobody gets out alive  anyway.
>>
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>>There are two kinds of  pedestrians: the quick and the  dead.
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>>Life is sexually  transmitted.
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>>Health is merely the  slowest possible rate at which one can  die.
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>>The only difference between  a rut and a grave is the  depth.
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>>Health nuts are going to  feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of
>>nothing.
>>
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>>
>>
>>
>>Have you noticed  since everyone has a camcorder these days no one talks
>>about seeing UFOs  like they used to?
>>
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>>
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>>Whenever I  feel blue, I start breathing  again.
>>
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>>
>>
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>>All of us could take a  lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to
>>criticism.
>>
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>>
>>
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>>In the 60s,  people took acid to make the world weird.  Now the world is
>>weird  and people take Prozac to make it  normal
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>How is it one careless  match can start a forest fire, but it takes a 
>>whole
>>box to start a  campfire?
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>Who was the first  person to look at a cow and say, 'I think I'll squeeze
>>these dangly  things here, and drink whatever comes  out?'
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>>Who was the first person to  say, 'See that chicken there? I'm gonna eat 
>>the
>
>>next thing that comes  outta its butt.
>>
>>
>>
>>'
>>
>>Why is there a  light in the fridge and not in the  freezer?
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>>If Jimmy cracks corn and  no one cares, why is there a song about  him?
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>>If quizzes are quizzical,  what are tests?
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>>Do illiterate  people get the full effect of Alphabet  Soup?
>>
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>>
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>>Did you ever notice that  when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at 
>>you,
>
>>but when you take  him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the  window?
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>Why doesn't glue stick to the  inside of the bottle
>
> **************Feeling the pinch at the grocery store?  Make meals for 
> Under
> $10. (http://food.aol.com/frugal-feasts?ncid=emlcntusfood00000002)
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