[Rhodes22-list] those who can identify...raise your hands...

Thu Feb 18 17:18:02 EST 2010

Maybe we need a real long winter.

http://www.chicagotribune.com/news/columnists/ct-met-kass-0217-20100217,0,2015490,full.column

Rick

On Thu, Feb 18, 2010 at 3:57 PM, <R22RumRunner at aol.com> wrote:

> Elle,
>
> Spring can't be to far away, I received my copy of the new West Marine
> catalog in the mail yesterday.
>
> Rummy
>
>
> In a message dated 2/18/2010 2:48:52 P.M. Eastern Standard Time,
> watermusic38 at yahoo.com writes:
>
> I'd  imagine that many folks are feeling as the lady  below..
> elle
>
>
>
>
> Funny
> Snow Story
>
>
>
> December 8 6:00 Pm
> It started to snow. The first snow of  the season
> and the wife and I took our cocktails and sat for hours by the  window
> watching
> the huge soft flakes drift down from heaven. It looked  like a Grandma
> Moses
> print. So romantic we felt like newlyweds again. I  love
> snow!
>
> December 9
> We woke to a
> beautiful blanket of  crystal white snow covering every inch of the
> landscape.
> What a fantastic  sight! Can there be a more lovely place in the whole
> world?
> Moving here  was the best idea I've ever had!  Shoveled for the first time
> in  years and felt like a boy again. I did both our driveway and the
> sidewalks.
>
> This afternoon the snowplow came
> along and  covered up the sidewalks and closed in the driveway, so I got to
> shovel  again. What a perfect life!
>
> December 12
> The sun has melted all
> our lovely snow. Such a disappointment! My neighbor tells me not to
> worry-we'll
> definitely have a white Christmas. No snow on Christmas would  be awful!
> Bob says
> we'll have so much snow by the end of winter, that I'll  never want to see
> snow
> again. I don't think that's possible. Bob is such a  nice man, I'm glad
> he's our
> neighbor.
>
> December 14
> Snow, lovely  snow! 8
> inches last night. The temperature dropped to -20. The cold makes
> everything
> sparkle so. The wind took my breath away, but I warmed up by  shoveling the
> driveway and sidewalks. This is the life!
>
> The  snowplow came back this
> afternoon and buried everything again. I didn't  realize I would have to do
> quite
> this much shoveling, but I'll certainly  get back in shape this way. I wish
> I
> wouldn't huff and puff  so.
>
> December 15
> 20 inches forecast. Sold my van
> and bought a 4x4  Blazer. Bought snow tires for the wife's car and 2 extra
> shovels. Stocked  the freezer. The wife wants a wood stove in case the
> electricity goes out.  I think that's silly. We aren't in
> Alaska , after
> all.
>
> December  16
> Ice storm this morning. Fell on my *** on the ice in
> the driveway  putting down salt. Hurt like hell. The wife laughed for an
> hour,
> which I  think was very cruel.
>
> December 17
> It is still way below freezing.
> Roads are too icy to go anywhere. Electricity was off for 5 hours. I had
> to pile
> the blankets on to stay warm. Nothing to do but stare at the wife  and try
> not to
> irritate her. Guess I should've bought a wood stove, but  won't admit it to
> her.
> God I hate it when she's right. I can't believe I'm  freezing to death in
> my own
> livingroom!
>
> December 20
> Electricity  is back on, but had another 14
> inches of the damn stuff last night. More  shoveling! Took all day. The
> damn
> snowplow came by twice.
> Tried to  find a neighbor kid to shovel, but they
> said they're too busy playing  hockey. I think they're lying. Called the
> only
> hardware store around to  see about buying a snow blower and they're out.
> Might
> have another  shipment in March. I think they're lying. Bob says I have to
> shovel
> or the  city will have it done and bill me. I think he's lying.
>
> December  22
> Bob was right about a white
> Christmas because 13 more inches of the  white **** fell today, and it's so
> cold,
> it probably won't melt till  August. Took me 45 minutes to get all dressed
> up to
> go out to shovel and  then I had to ****. By the time I got undressed,
> ****ed and
> dressed again.  I was too tired to shovel. Tried to hire Bob who has a plow
> on
> his truck  for the rest of the winter, but he says he's too busy. I think
> the
> *******  is lying.
>
> December 23
> Only 2 inches of
> snow today. And it warmed  up to 0. The wife wanted me to decorate the
> front of
> the house this  morning. What is she, nuts?!!
> Why didn't she tell me to do
> that a  month ago? She says she did but I think she's lying.
>
> December
> 24
> 6 inches - Snow packed so hard by snowplow, I broke the shovel.  Thought I
> was having a heart attack. If I ever catch the son of a *****  who drives
> that
> snow plow, I'll drag him through the snow by his balls and  beat him to
> death
> with my broken shovel. I know he hides around the corner  and waits for me
> to
> finish shoveling and then he comes down the street at  a 100 miles an hour
> and
> throws snow all over where I've just been!
> Tonight the wife wanted me to
> sing Christmas carols with her and open  our presents, but I was too busy
> watching for the damn  snowplow.
>
> December 25
> Merry f---ing
> Christmas! 20 more inches of  the damn slop tonight - Snowed in! The idea
> of
> shoveling makes my blood  boil. God, I hate the snow!
> Then the snowplow
> driver came by asking  for a donation and I hit him over the head with my
> shovel.
> The wife says I  have a bad attitude. I think she's a fricking idiot. If I
> have
> to watch  "It's A Wonderful Life" one more time, I'm going to stuff her
> into the
> microwave.
>
> December 26
> Still snowed in.
> Why the hell did I  ever move here? It was all HER idea. She's really
> getting on
> my  nerves.
>
> December 27
> Temperature
> dropped to -30 and the pipes  froze; plumber came after 14 hours of waiting
> for
> him, he only charged me  $1,400 to replace all my pipes.
>
> December 28
> Warmed up to above
> -20. Still snowed in. The ***** is driving me crazy!!!
>
> December  29
> 10
> more inches. Bob says I have to shovel the roof or it could cave  in.
> That's the
> silliest thing I ever heard. How dumb does he think I  am?
>
> December
> 30
> Roof caved in. I beat up the snow plow driver,  and now he is suing me for
> a million dollars, not only for the beating I  gave him, but also for
> trying to
> shove the broken snow shovel up his ***.  The wife went home to her mother.
> Nine
> more inches  predicted.
>
> December 31
> I set fire to
> what's left of the house.  No more shoveling.
>
> January 8
> Feels so good.
> I just love those  little white pills they keep giving me. Why am I tied to
> the
> bed?
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
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