[Rhodes22-list] neologism contest, funny stuff

[R22RumRunner at aol.com]

Whatever or whenever or whomever, they are still funny. I didn't think it  
was worthy of checking for truthfulnessies. (A large green lying loche Ness  
monster)
 
Rummy
 
 
In a message dated 1/5/2010 8:12:49 A.M. Eastern Standard Time,  
LKUHN at cnmc.org writes:


Rummy,

Very good!  It was so funny that I Googled  winning entries from other
years and it looks like everyone is taking  credit for this one single
"annual" contest.  The best that I can tell  it happened in 2005 and it
was the Washington Post, but it was also  attributed to the New York
Times and many others for several  years.

Unsure about the date?

Datum (n.), ummmm I think it was  in 2005.

Lee

-----Original Message-----
From:  rhodes22-list-bounces at rhodes22.org
[mailto:rhodes22-list-bounces at rhodes22.org]  On Behalf Of
r22rumrunner at aol.com
Sent: Tuesday, January 05, 2010 7:47  AM
To: rhodes22-list at rhodes22.org
Subject: [Rhodes22-list] neologism  contest, funny stuff









Once again,  The  Washington Post has published the winning submissions
to 
its  yearly  neologism contest, in which readers are asked to supply  
alternative meanings  for common words.

The winners  are:

1. Coffee (n.), the person  upon whom one coughs.

2.  Flabbergasted (adj.), appalled over how much  weight you have  gained.

3. Abdicate (v.), to give up all hope of ever  having a  flat stomach.

4. Esplanade (v.), to attempt an explanation  while  drunk.

5. Willy-nilly (adj.), impotent.

6. Negligent   (adj.), describes a condition in which you absentmindedly 
answer the door  in  your nightgown.

7. Lymph (v.), to walk with a  lisp.

8.  Gargoyle (n), olive-flavored mouthwash.

9.  Flatulence (n.) emergency  vehicle that picks you up after you are
run  
over by a  steamroller.

10. Balderdash (n.), a rapidly  receding  hairline.

11. Testicle (n.), a humorous question on  an  exam.

12. Rectitude (n.), the formal, dignified bearing  adopted by
proctologists.

13. Pokemon (n), a Rastafarian   proctologist.

14. Oyster (n.), a person who sprinkles his   conversation with
Yiddishisms.

15. Frisbeetarianism (n.), (back  by  popular demand): The belief that,
when 
you die, your soul  flies up onto the  roof and gets stuck there.

16. Circumvent (n.),  an opening in the  front of boxer shorts worn by 
Jewish  men.



The Washington  Post's Style Invitational also asked  readers to take any

word from the  dictionary, alter it by adding,  subtracting, or changing
one 
letter, and  supply a new definition.  Here are this year's winners:


1. Bozone  (n.): The substance  surrounding stupid people that stops
bright 
ideas from   penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little
sign 
of  breaking  down in the near future.

2. Foreploy (v): Any  misrepresentation about  yourself for the purpose
of 
getting  laid.

3. Cashtration (n.): The  act of buying a house, which  renders the
subject 
financially impotent for an  indefinite  period.

4. Giraffiti (n): Vandalism spray-painted very,  very  high.

5. Sarchasm (n): The gulf between the author of sarcastic   wit and the 
person who doesn't get it.

6. Inoculatte (v): To  take  coffee intravenously when you are running
late.

7.  Hipatitis (n):  Terminal coolness.

8. Osteopornosis (n): A  degenerate disease. (This  one got extra
credit.)

9.  Karmageddon (n): its like, when everybody  is sending off all these  
really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth  explodes and  it's
like, a 
serious bummer.

10. Decafalon (n.): The   grueling event of getting through the day 
consuming only things that  are  good for you.

11. Glibido (v): All talk and no  action.

12.  Dopeler effect (n): The tendency of stupid ideas to  seem smarter
when 
they  come at you rapidly.

13.  Arachnoleptic fit (n.): The frantic dance  performed just after
you've  
accidentally walked through a spider  web.

14. Beelzebug (n.):  Satan in the form of a mosquito that gets  into your

bedroom at  three in the morning and cannot be cast out.

15.  Caterpallor  (n.): The color you turn after finding half a grub in
the 
fruit   you're eating.

And the pick of the literature:

16.  Ignoranus  (n): A person who's both stupid and an   asshole.




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