[Rhodes22-list] neologism contest, funny stuff
Leland
LKUHN at cnmc.org
Sun Jan 10 16:27:23 EST 2010
Best joke I've hear from a ten-year old girl:
If you're an American when you go into the bathroom and you're an American
when you leave the bathroom, what are you when you're in the bathroom.
You're-a-peein.
Lady in Red wrote:
>
> Leave it to Oscar Levant to astutely point out: "A pun is the lowest form
> of humor- if you didn't think of it first."
> My grandfather came from eastern Europe.
> Russian?
> No, he took his time.(About.com)
>
> elle
> Beer is good....people are crazy
>
> 1992 Rhodes 22 Recycled '06"Watermusic" {Lady in Red}
>
> --- On Fri, 1/8/10, Geankoplis <napoli68 at charter.net> wrote:
>
> From: Geankoplis <napoli68 at charter.net>
> Subject: Re: [Rhodes22-list] neologism contest, funny stuff
> To: "'The Rhodes 22 Email List'" <rhodes22-list at rhodes22.org>
> Date: Friday, January 8, 2010, 12:08 AM
>
> Hey Ragazza,
> Oh who said a Pun was the lowest form of humor? could explain why we enjoy
> them so much.
> Chris G
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: rhodes22-list-bounces at rhodes22.org
> [mailto:rhodes22-list-bounces at rhodes22.org] On Behalf Of elle
> Sent: Thursday, January 07, 2010 07:08
> To: The Rhodes 22 Email List
> Subject: Re: [Rhodes22-list] neologism contest, funny stuff
>
> good one, Chris!!!
> Here's one I remember from my dad:
> My dad noticed that I was searching in his desk. He inquired as to what I
> needed, and I replied that I was in need of a rubber band.
> Not missing a beat, he said he had none, but there was a steel orchestra
> in
> the garage.
> He was quite a punster.
>
> elle
>
> Beer is good....people are crazy
>
> 1992 Rhodes 22 Recycled '06"Watermusic" {Lady in Red}
>
> --- On Wed, 1/6/10, Geankoplis <napoli68 at charter.net> wrote:
>
> From: Geankoplis <napoli68 at charter.net>
> Subject: Re: [Rhodes22-list] neologism contest, funny stuff
> To: "'The Rhodes 22 Email List'" <rhodes22-list at rhodes22.org>
> Date: Wednesday, January 6, 2010, 11:59 PM
>
> Ok here is one for Rummy :Rummage: the epoch in which the dominate wind
> powered aquatic life forms lived off of Mt. Gay.
>
> Chris G
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: rhodes22-list-bounces at rhodes22.org
> [mailto:rhodes22-list-bounces at rhodes22.org] On Behalf Of
> r22rumrunner at aol.com
> Sent: Tuesday, January 05, 2010 12:37
> To: rhodes22-list at rhodes22.org
> Subject: Re: [Rhodes22-list] neologism contest, funny stuff
>
> Elle,
> I don't know if I could sit down and just try to come up with some of
> these. It would take a lot of rum to get me in the correct frame of mind.
> Then,
> you never know what could come to my sick twisted rum soaked mind.
>
> Rummy
>
>
> In a message dated 1/5/2010 11:52:51 A.M. Eastern Standard Time,
> watermusic38 at yahoo.com writes:
>
> I used to use these and other Style Invitational stuff (when
> appropriate!)
> when I taught in No Va.
> One of my former students (now a teacher in the same system) was a Style
> winner/runner up several years ago....
>
> elle
>
> Beer is good....people are crazy
>
> 1992 Rhodes 22 Recycled '06"Watermusic" {Lady in Red}
>
> --- On Tue, 1/5/10, KUHN, LELAND <LKUHN at cnmc.org> wrote:
>
> From: KUHN, LELAND <LKUHN at cnmc.org>
> Subject: Re: [Rhodes22-list] neologism contest, funny stuff
> To: "The Rhodes 22 Email List" <rhodes22-list at rhodes22.org>
> Date: Tuesday, January 5, 2010, 9:55 AM
>
> Thanks Mary Lou. My favorite:
>
> Frostitute: Nanooky of the North (Michael Gips, Bethesda; Eric Ries,
> Bethesda; Roy Ashley, Washington)
>
> Lee
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: rhodes22-list-bounces at rhodes22.org
> [mailto:rhodes22-list-bounces at rhodes22.org] On Behalf Of Mary Lou Troy
> Sent: Tuesday, January 05, 2010 9:21 AM
> To: The Rhodes 22 Email List
> Subject: Re: [Rhodes22-list] neologism contest, funny stuff
>
> The Post runs or used to run these contests regularly under the
> heading of "Style Invitational"
>
> Here's a link to recent ones:
> http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2009/12/24/AR200912
> 2401947.html
> http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/story/2009/12/24/ST20091224
> 02052.html?sid=ST2009122402052
>
> and a link to a listing of recent Style Invitationals:
> http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/linkset/2005/03/25/LI200503
> 2501843.html
>
> You'll have to register if you aren't but it doesn't seem to cause any
> harm.
>
> They used to be in the Sunday paper (which is the only one we go out
> and buy) but they evidently now run on Saturdays. I didn't realize
> how much I missed them.
>
> Thanks, Rummy.
>
> Mary Lou
> 1991 R22 Fretless
> Rock Hall, MD
>
>
> At 08:12 AM 1/5/2010, you wrote:
>
>>Rummy,
>>
>>Very good! It was so funny that I Googled winning entries from other
>>years and it looks like everyone is taking credit for this one single
>>"annual" contest. The best that I can tell it happened in 2005 and it
>>was the Washington Post, but it was also attributed to the New York
>>Times and many others for several years.
>>
>>Unsure about the date?
>>
>>Datum (n.), ummmm I think it was in 2005.
>>
>>Lee
>>
>>-----Original Message-----
>>From: rhodes22-list-bounces at rhodes22.org
>>[mailto:rhodes22-list-bounces at rhodes22.org] On Behalf Of
>>r22rumrunner at aol.com
>>Sent: Tuesday, January 05, 2010 7:47 AM
>>To: rhodes22-list at rhodes22.org
>>Subject: [Rhodes22-list] neologism contest, funny stuff
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>Once again, The Washington Post has published the winning submissions
>>to
>>its yearly neologism contest, in which readers are asked to supply
>>alternative meanings for common words.
>>
>>The winners are:
>>
>>1. Coffee (n.), the person upon whom one coughs.
>>
>>2. Flabbergasted (adj.), appalled over how much weight you have
> gained.
>>
>>3. Abdicate (v.), to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.
>>
>>4. Esplanade (v.), to attempt an explanation while drunk.
>>
>>5. Willy-nilly (adj.), impotent.
>>
>>6. Negligent (adj.), describes a condition in which you absentmindedly
>>answer the door in your nightgown.
>>
>>7. Lymph (v.), to walk with a lisp.
>>
>>8. Gargoyle (n), olive-flavored mouthwash.
>>
>>9. Flatulence (n.) emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are
>>run
>>over by a steamroller.
>>
>>10. Balderdash (n.), a rapidly receding hairline.
>>
>>11. Testicle (n.), a humorous question on an exam.
>>
>>12. Rectitude (n.), the formal, dignified bearing adopted by
>>proctologists.
>>
>>13. Pokemon (n), a Rastafarian proctologist.
>>
>>14. Oyster (n.), a person who sprinkles his conversation with
>>Yiddishisms.
>>
>>15. Frisbeetarianism (n.), (back by popular demand): The belief that,
>>when
>>you die, your soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.
>>
>>16. Circumvent (n.), an opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by
>>Jewish men.
>>
>>
>>
>>The Washington Post's Style Invitational also asked readers to take
> any
>>
>>word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing
>>one
>>letter, and supply a new definition. Here are this year's winners:
>>
>>
>>1. Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops
>>bright
>>ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little
>>sign
>>of breaking down in the near future.
>>
>>2. Foreploy (v): Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose
>>of
>>getting laid.
>>
>>3. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the
>>subject
>>financially impotent for an indefinite period.
>>
>>4. Giraffiti (n): Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.
>>
>>5. Sarchasm (n): The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the
>>person who doesn't get it.
>>
>>6. Inoculatte (v): To take coffee intravenously when you are running
>>late.
>>
>>7. Hipatitis (n): Terminal coolness.
>>
>>8. Osteopornosis (n): A degenerate disease. (This one got extra
>>credit.)
>>
>>9. Karmageddon (n): its like, when everybody is sending off all these
>>really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's
>>like, a
>>serious bummer.
>>
>>10. Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day
>>consuming only things that are good for you.
>>
>>11. Glibido (v): All talk and no action.
>>
>>12. Dopeler effect (n): The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter
>>when
>>they come at you rapidly.
>>
>>13. Arachnoleptic fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after
>>you've
>>accidentally walked through a spider web.
>>
>>14. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito that gets into
> your
>>
>>bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.
>>
>>15. Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding half a grub in
>>the
>>fruit you're eating.
>>
>>And the pick of the literature:
>>
>>16. Ignoranus (n): A person who's both stupid and an asshole.
>>
>>
>>
>>
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