[Rhodes22-list] Old Soldiers- Humor

[R22RumRunner at aol.com]

"Drafting Guys  Over 60"



This is funny  & obviously written   
by a former  soldier...  
 
New Direction for any war:   
Send Service Vets over 60!

I am over 60 and  the Armed Forces thinks I'm too old to track down 
terrorists. You can't be  older than 42 to join the military. They've got the whole 
thing  ass-backwards. Instead of sending 18-year olds off to fight, they 
ought to  take us old guys. You shouldn't be able to join a military unit 
until you're  at least 55.

For starters, researchers say 18-year-olds think about  sex every 10 
seconds. Old guys only think about sex a couple of times a day,  leaving us more 
than 28,000 additional seconds per day to concentrate on the  enemy.

Young guys haven't lived long enough to be cranky, and a  cranky soldier is 
a dangerous soldier. 'My back hurts! I can't sleep, I'm  tired and hungry.' 
We are impatient and maybe letting us kill some asshole  that desperately 
deserves it will make us feel better and shut us up for  awhile..

An 18-year-old doe sn't even like to get up before10am. Old  guys always 
get up early to pee, so what the hell. Besides, like I said, I'm  tired and 
can't sleep and since I'm already up, I may as well be up killing  some 
fanatical son-of-a-bitch.  

If  captured we couldn't spill the beans because we'd forget where we put 
them.  In fact, name, rank, and serial number would be a real  brainteaser.

Boot camp would be easier for old guys.. We're used  to getting screamed 
and yelled at and we're used to soft food. We've also  developed an 
appreciation for guns. We've been using them for years as an  excuse to get out of the 
house, away from the screaming and yelling.   

They could lighten up on the obstacle course  however... I've been in 
combat and never saw a single 20-foot wall with rope  hanging over the side, nor 
did I ever do any pushups after completing basic  training.

Actually, the running part is kind of a waste of energy,  too... I've never 
seen anyone outrun a bullet.

An  18-year-old has the whole world ahead of him. He's still learning to 
shave,  to start a conversation with a pretty girl. He still hasn't figured 
out that  a baseball cap has a brim to shade his eyes, not the back of his  
head.

These are all great reasons to keep our kids at home to learn a  little 
more about life before sending them off into harm's  way.

Let us old guys track down those dirty rotten coward  terrorists. The last 
thing an enemy would want to see is a couple million  pissed off old farts 
with attitudes and automatic weapons, who know that  their best years are 
already behind them.  


HEY!! How about recruiting Women over 50...in  menopause!!! You think MEN 
have attitudes?? 
Ohhhhhhhhhhhh my God!!! If  nothing else, put them on border patrol. 
They'll have it secured the first  night!