[Rhodes22-list] Fw: FW:

[lcrowther]

>
> > We always hear "the rules" from the female side. Now here are the rules
> > from the male side. These are our rules! These are what we MEN want to
say
> > to all WOMEN! remember it. And don't moan.
> >
> > If you're a Man pass to your partner for a greater understanding. If
> > you're a woman keep it somewhere prominent like on the fridge!
> > -Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it
> > down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us bitching about
> > you leaving it down.
> > -Birthdays, Valentines, and Anniversaries are not quests to see if  we
can
> > find the perfect present yet again!
> > -Sometimes we are not thinking about you. Live with it.
> > -Saturday = sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the
tides.
> > Let it be.
> > -Don't cut your hair. Ever. Long hair is always more attractive than
short
> > hair. One of the big reasons guys fear getting married is that married
> > women always cut their hair, and by then your stuck with her.
> > -Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that
> > way.
> > -Crying is blackmail.
> >
> > -Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not
> > work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!
> > -We don't remember dates. Mark birthdays and anniversaries on a
calendar.
> > Remind us frequently beforehand.
> > -Most guys own three pairs of shoes - tops. What makes you think we'd be
> > any good at choosing which pair, out of thirty, would look good with
your
> > dress?
> > -Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
> > -Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what
> > we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
> > -A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
> > -Check your oil! Please.
> > -Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact,
> > all comments become null and void ! after 7 days.
> > -If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us. We refuse to
> > answer.
> > -If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of  the ways
> > makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
> > -Let us ogle. We are going to look anyway; it's genetic.
> > -You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done.
> > Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
> > -Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during
> > commercials.
> > -Christopher Columbus did not need directions, and neither do we.
> > -The relationship is never going to be like it was the first two months
we
> > were going out. Get over it. And quit whining to your girlfriends.
> > -ALL men see in only 16 colours, like Windows default settings. Peach,
for
> > example, is a fruit, not a colour. We have no idea what mauve is.
> > -If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.
> > -We are not mind readers and we never will be. Our lack of mind-reading
> > ability is not proof of how little we care about you.
> > -If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like
nothing's
> > wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
> > -If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you
> > don't want to hear.
> > -When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine.
> > Really.
> > -Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to
discuss
> > such topics as navel lint, the offside rule, or motor bikes.
> > -You have enough clothes.
> > -You have too many shoes.
> > -No you really do have too many shoes.
> > -It is neither in your best interest nor ours to take the quiz together.
> > No, it doesn't matter which quiz.
> > -BEER is as exciting for us as handbags are for you.
> > -I'm in shape. ROUND is a shape.
> >
> > Thank you for reading this; Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch
> > tonight, but did you know we really don't mind that, it's like camping.
> >
> >
> >
>