[Rhodes22-list] Fw: FW:

[Steve Alm]

Lloyd,  Hilarious!  Thanks for posting.

Slim

On 8/3/02 11:36 AM, "lcrowther" <lcrowther@cox.net> wrote:

> 
> 
> 
>> 
>>> We always hear "the rules" from the female side. Now here are the rules
>>> from the male side. These are our rules! These are what we MEN want to
> say
>>> to all WOMEN! remember it. And don't moan.
>>> 
>>> If you're a Man pass to your partner for a greater understanding. If
>>> you're a woman keep it somewhere prominent like on the fridge!
>>> -Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it
>>> down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us bitching about
>>> you leaving it down.
>>> -Birthdays, Valentines, and Anniversaries are not quests to see if  we
> can
>>> find the perfect present yet again!
>>> -Sometimes we are not thinking about you. Live with it.
>>> -Saturday = sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the
> tides.
>>> Let it be.
>>> -Don't cut your hair. Ever. Long hair is always more attractive than
> short
>>> hair. One of the big reasons guys fear getting married is that married
>>> women always cut their hair, and by then your stuck with her.
>>> -Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that
>>> way.
>>> -Crying is blackmail.
>>> 
>>> -Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not
>>> work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!
>>> -We don't remember dates. Mark birthdays and anniversaries on a
> calendar.
>>> Remind us frequently beforehand.
>>> -Most guys own three pairs of shoes - tops. What makes you think we'd be
>>> any good at choosing which pair, out of thirty, would look good with
> your
>>> dress?
>>> -Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
>>> -Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what
>>> we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
>>> -A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
>>> -Check your oil! Please.
>>> -Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact,
>>> all comments become null and void ! after 7 days.
>>> -If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us. We refuse to
>>> answer.
>>> -If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of  the ways
>>> makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
>>> -Let us ogle. We are going to look anyway; it's genetic.
>>> -You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done.
>>> Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
>>> -Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during
>>> commercials.
>>> -Christopher Columbus did not need directions, and neither do we.
>>> -The relationship is never going to be like it was the first two months
> we
>>> were going out. Get over it. And quit whining to your girlfriends.
>>> -ALL men see in only 16 colours, like Windows default settings. Peach,
> for
>>> example, is a fruit, not a colour. We have no idea what mauve is.
>>> -If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.
>>> -We are not mind readers and we never will be. Our lack of mind-reading
>>> ability is not proof of how little we care about you.
>>> -If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like
> nothing's
>>> wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
>>> -If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you
>>> don't want to hear.
>>> -When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine.
>>> Really.
>>> -Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to
> discuss
>>> such topics as navel lint, the offside rule, or motor bikes.
>>> -You have enough clothes.
>>> -You have too many shoes.
>>> -No you really do have too many shoes.
>>> -It is neither in your best interest nor ours to take the quiz together.
>>> No, it doesn't matter which quiz.
>>> -BEER is as exciting for us as handbags are for you.
>>> -I'm in shape. ROUND is a shape.
>>> 
>>> Thank you for reading this; Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch
>>> tonight, but did you know we really don't mind that, it's like camping.
>>> 
>>> 
>>> 
>> 
> 
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